Spews on the News

TTG apologises profusely for her unplanned retirement from her beloved blog - twhas been a long haul of a month with entering the circle of work life, deciphering tax forms and nervously chewin g her fingertips in anguish in the wake of her results - she got a 2:1 baby!

Now on to some brief news, now that TTG is semi-functioning. Perhaps.



PM-Who?

One year on and we wonder that. 'Who is our PM? 'the papers decry. Haven' t got a bloody clue. Some Marxist Mugabe-like creature who stalks number ten and won't budge like the fishy smell in Whistable Harbour.

Often you'll hear shrill squeals of no 'Legitimacy of election' in Zimbabwe - that is our PM, the holier than thou, the unelected one. Perhaps we could ban him in the same way he proposes to Mugrab?

Oh, TTG found him. Here he is.

NB: He's the grey hagged figure with the faint Scutish accent being lashed by the tongue of Cameron.




Wendy-oust

Money-undeclaring No-Labour leader in Scutland, Alex is lost for words. Even after losing her voice at Questions in the House just the other day. Tomorrow, the firing squad waits. Sorry, Labour proto-col, love.


Funding nemo

TTG doesn't mind paying up a 66 pence piece packet each year for the Royals - they do far more than the Gov does, even with the ridiculously high level of revenue we dish out to the creeps - and yes, TTG is permitted to bemoan the terrible taxes now that she has to pay them!

Back to point, TTG thinks us countrymen and women should happily support the one last part of our heritage that hasn't yet succumb to the claws of Marxism and the kill English culture movement.

Plus the Queen with all her wealth and service to the country sticks up for the nation's below-breadliners- she buys McDonalds and she refused to have a big celebration for her wedding anniversary this year.

MPs? Well apart from the Tory MP Grant Shapps who spent xmas night on the street, TTG can't really say much for their corner.



Totalpolitics

A spanking new politico mag! Published by the wonderful Iain Dale, the mag contains all you need to know of the ins, outs, nooks and crannies of the legislative world in the UK. Check out the first issue filled with an interview with Alan B*stard,Gordy Brown and his apparent "character" and love of James Bond. Ha. Ha. And much much more that TTG cannot be bothered to write - just buy the mag won't ya? In all good shops near you.

Hatty's equality ideas are just plain mad!

Time to say goodbye to Harriet Heman? Hurr-iet has been busy according to Labour officials, hurting the polls and has been reproached for the Henley disaster.

The Woman advocate, who's the mastermind of a bill to trump inequality in the workplace by injecting even more inequality in its place, may be a first class muppet but she's not to blame for Henley. Why doesn't the narcissistic Party look a little closer home....you cannot expect guys to rake in support while bleeding the workers you're meant to represent dry.

Remember 10p tax?
Remember the price of petrol?
Remember the price of food?
Remember the green agenda that's costing us 37 % more?

Well they do. And that's why they voted blue.

42 ways to make you less popular than a terrorist......A guide to the 42 days debacle

Brownie has got himself in some 42-day stewed hot water with claims crawling out of the woodwork that he bribed MPs to score his pathetic 9 majority in the Commons. The extension from 28 to 42 days, a plan thought up by his idiotic PAs to boost his image, where Dove and co couldn't, made the prudent prem look more unfit for the job than ever before and it cost a far sight more too to achieve that effect - all £1.2 billion of tax payers' cash wrapped in a nice bundle for nine Unionists. If Brown was in the Apprentice line-up he wouldn't fare well, or maybe he would, TTG bets he has plenty of riddled lies on his CV under achievements, cos this 42 days debacle is certainly not one of them. Here, old bean, are 42 highlights of the 42 days and how funny that all are lowlights for your pristine Iron fist record. NB, my right hand Gorgon, TTG did pick carefully through the cuttings to ensure no bias - a policy she adheres to strongly.

1) By Dave! Davis has quit as Shadow Home Sec.

2) Clegg refuses to stand against Davis - "The Liberal Democrats have consistently opposed this unnecessary and illiberal proposal which poses a threat so serious to British liberties that it transcends party politics."
3) £1.2 billion sweeteners for Ulster Unionists - bribed with water rates. Labour backbenchers bribed with less of a stance against Cuba, miner's compensation.
4)Rebel Bob Marshall-Andrews: "He won this vote on the back of the Irish vote. The numbers could not have been any coincidental. Nine Irish votes - a majority of nine."

5) 36 Labour rebels vote against bill

6) Final votes: 315 for; 309 against

7) Other countries in comparison : one day in Canada, two in the United States, Germany, South Africa and New Zealand, five in Spain and 12 in Australia.

8) Downing Street predicted defeat - "very, very tight"

9) David Cameron calls it "Ineffective authoritarianism"

10) £3,000 compensation per day per person wrongly detained

11) Debates in commons of a detainee "contempt of court and prejudicing jury"

12) BBC, December 6, 2007: "The 28-day limit was itself a compromise, after former prime minister Tony Blair failed to convince Parliament to increase it to 90 days in 2005."

13) From 90 days to 58 to 42

14) December 2007, Nick Clegg, Home Affairs Spokesman: "Frankly, what the government is now proposing is not easy to understand."

15) Nick Robinson, December 2007: "the government's own civil contingency bill allowed detention without trial to be extended beyond 28 days for a further 30 if a state of emergency were declared. This was proof Shami Chakrabarti, and later the Tories and Lib Dems, said that the powers were there if more than 28 days were ever needed.

16) Gordon Brown, The Times: "the judiciary must oversee each individual case. As happens now for detention beyond 14 days, a senior judge will be required to approve the extension of detention in each individual case every seven days up to the new higher limit.

17) Richard Hall, a blogger and Welsh Methodist Minister: "Since 2000, this period has been getting progressively longer. First, the 48 hours for which ‘ordinary’ criminals can be held us upped to 7 days. A couple of years later that went up to 14 days. In 2006 it went up to 28 days. Tony Blair wanted to make it 90 days, but he was defeated in the Commons. Now Gordon Brown wants to look tough on terrorism, so the issue is being raised again."

18) Diana Abbott, MP for Hackney, speech June 12, 2008 "Was it to be 29 days, or 30, or 40? At one point, some of us offered to put our hands in a hat and to draw out a number for the home secretary.

They did not have a number of days because this is not an objective, evidence-driven bill. It is the purest politics. It is about the polls and about positioning. It is about putting the Conservative party in the wrong place on terrorism."

19) Terror suspects cannot be caged without charge for 42 days in either police cells or jails, a secret report claims - Mirror, June 11, 2008

20)Willem Buiter, FT, June 12, 2008: It is a sad day indeed, when I have to conclude that Ossama bin Laden and his demented followers present less of a threat to my way of life - to an open society, civil liberties and freedom - than my own government’s response to that threat."

21) The House of Lords will vote later this year on the bill

22) Bill will be defeated in the Lords, according to Nick Robinson

23) BBC: "Powers already exist to extend detention for up to 30 days under emergency powers - meaning a grave threat such as wartime."

24) BBC: "So far six people have been held close to the 28-day limit. Five of these people were arrested in 2006 in connection with an alleged plot currently before the courts.

Two of the five were charged and three released before the deadline. The sixth case of 28 days' detention involved another suspect arrested and subsequently charged in Manchester in connection with unrelated allegations."

25) How it works according to the BBC: "The home secretary needs to be satisfied there is a "grave exceptional terrorist threat". Secondly, top prosecutors and police issue a report setting out why they need the power.

Once the home secretary signs the order, she must inform Parliament within two days and both houses must approve the move.

The special powers for 42-day detention are only available to the home secretary for 30 days, after which she must reapply for the powers.

Even while she has these powers, each suspect will be able to challenge any application to hold them beyond 28 days in front of a judge."

26) Human Rights Watch: "The judge is not asked to evaluate whether there exist reasonable grounds to believe the person committed a terrorist offense, the ultimate issue at stake in considering whether detention is lawful or not. "

27) Judith Sunderland, Western European Researcher, Human Rights Watch:

“If you were detained, wouldn’t you want the judge to ask whether there are any grounds to believe the accusations against you?” Sunderland said. “It’s not just about whether the police are continuing to investigate, it’s about whether there’s enough evidence to investigate in the first place.”

28) MI5 has not asked for an extension up to 42 days. 29) St. Albans MP Anne Main: "We all accept that terrorism needs to be dealt with, but there has been no evidence of any need, or request from the Security Services, for this extension. 42 days is a figure that has just been plucked out of the air."

30) Tories would "almost certainly" reverse the 42-day terror time if in power

31) David Davis resignation speech:

“It has no democratic mandate to do this since 42 days was not in its manifesto. Its legal basis is uncertain to say the least but, purely for political reasons, this Government is going to do that.

Because the generic security argument relied on will never go away - technology, development complexity, and so on - we’ll next see 56 days, 70 days, then 90 days.

But in truth perhaps 42 days is the one most salient example of the insidious, surreptitious and relentless erosion of fundamental British freedom."

32) Nick Clegg, the Lib Dem leader, The Guardian: "It is a victory for pork barrel politics, and nothing to do with principle."

33) Keith Vaz , Chairman of home affairs select committee offered a knighthood

34) Bill violates European convention on Human Rights according to Trevor Phillips

35) Bill "not supported by prosecution evidence" - Lord Advocate Elish Angiolini -Scotland's chief legal officer

36) Mick Hume, Spiked! : "UK prime minister Gordon Brown has rightly been ridiculed for his puffed-up claim that the security of the UK depends upon extending the period a terrorism suspect can be detained without charge to 42 days. His opponents also deserve a public drubbing for their equally risible claim that civil liberties in our society depend upon maintaining the current limit of a mere 28 days."

Read the article ' The phoney 42 days war' here.

37) Quentin Letts, Daily Mail: "We are left with an unworkable, wicked law and a legislature no longer worth the name. Hundreds of good British soldiers died saving Northern Irish Unionism over the past three decades. Now its MPs return the compliment by killing Magna Carta."

38) Simon Heffer, Daily Telegraph: " I think it will do nothing to improve the prevention or detection of terrorist crimes, because it violates the principle of habeas corpus (which has proved adequate for most exigencies since 1679, when the right against unjust detention was codified in law), and because it provides an unreliable, dishonest and authoritarian government with a weapon that I am far from convinced would be used solely against suspected terrorists.

39) Independent, June 11, 2008: "In the unlikely event that 28 days proved insufficient, a one-off application could surely be made before a court."

40) Politics GB: "The bribe offered to those affected by this insane legislation of £3,000 per day which is nice work if you can get it, being on the ballpark of a decent professional footballer, and may in itself encourage ne'er-do-wells to try and get themselves detained deliberately!"

41) Guardian discover police are worried the bill will:

• Damage relations with Muslim communities from whom intelligence to counter terrorism is needed

• Put detectives under pressure to find, even manufacture evidence, against those held for 42 days

• Damage to the police's reputation by becoming involved in such a controversial issue.

42) Quentin Letts, Daily Mail: "As a whimpering mongrel will sometimes drag itself home from a hit-and-run incident, two rear legs reduced to bleeding paddles, so has this Government survived."

Even more Spews on the News.

Because you're worth it.....

Pie-ty in the sky

Forget Holy Water or crucifix talismans, all you need is a shove in the right direction to do your bit for your neighbour. That's what Yorkie did, Archbishop Sentamu, when he leapt off a plane midair to raise £50,000 for the nation's poor.

Back in December, you may remember the act of courage God's messenger on earth had shown on prime time TV when he cut up his dog collar in protest at the West's refusal to crack down on Mugabe.

Here, Mr Clarkson, is just one reason why the Church should stay - John represents real Anglicism - don't tar all the Chrits with the same brush.

*Now Mugrabby, the Zimmer-barbarian has cut off international aid, what happens to the country's share of the £100 million Brownie pledged to Africa on Idol? In Robbie's hands?

'Em Sprees

Definitions of politician: (According to the Yankee rhymezone.com)

noun: a person active in party politics
noun: a leader engaged in civil administration
noun: a schemer who tries to gain advantage in an organization in sly or underhanded ways

Well judging by the antics of today's politicians, be they red, yellow, blue or far off the colour spectrum, and their love of lining their swish pockets by pickpocketing their fellow man they were elected to represent, they haven't a clue on their true role.

Here TTG will briefly explain their job description so next time they won't face a disciplinary from her, the media hounds or worse, the proles.

*Public servants - an effective mouthpiece for your community -voicing their concerns, their views on the news, a shepherd tendering for the welfare of his sheep

*Empathy - understanding the tolls that higher taxes and prices will have on your community.

How Not To Be An MP

* Consider yourself higher than your electors. You are their servant - you serve them, not your own needs.

* Choose funding relatives over relative poverty. Charity does not begin at your own home, but the home of your constituency. Actively support and nurture them

* Have more than the reasonable amount of 2 homes - do you really need three + homes?

* Take as much as you can get away with - Live like a Lenin - Lenin still lived, while leader, in one room in a small house. You bemoan £65k + is not enough but what about the people who often live off less than £25k and running a household plus kids at the same time.

There's no excuse. Sort it out, pronto or there'll be trouble and TTG is not meaning from her.

The people have had enough, particularly those of the politician kind.

Holding out for a Zero vote on Treaty

Come on Ireland, the British Isles is calling out for your help. Do the right thing and reject that dejected Treaty. Keep Britain Britain not a branch of La Manche.

Boris in Scot water

Old news. Yawn. Yes Boris said people are fed up with paying through the nose for the Haggis-ones and in fact, he is right. But it's not just Londoners fed up with cashing in on the Scots - the whole of England have had it - why do you think that Berwick Apon Tweed were happy to consider themselves Scotch.

Dove: No olive leaf for you, Brown

Real (con) men: What Broon might look like in one of the ad campaigns

Dove, the beauty magnate who managed the impossible, to make real women look good, obviously didn't think this could apply to one man, our Prem.

The ad agency behind Dove, refused a £75k sweetener from the PM to exfoliate his image, and rid of his bad press. Apparently they can't work miracles.


"Ogilvy UK, one of Britain's leading advertising companies, rejected an approach by Downing Street to make Mr Brown more attractive because it did not want to upset its other brands - which include Dove beauty products, Omo soap powder, Ford cars and American Express. "

More Spews on the News

TTG will be quick today, she has a lot to get through and still needs to get dolled up to trek on the tubey wubey.

Boz: Carpe Latinem

Boris has really excelled himself these past two weeks with a string of policies that might just work. First it was the ban on the drunks, next the gloves are on and Virgil is back on watch in school textbooks.

Perhaps when down with his kids in the sun, his babes crayoned some really useful ideas - ideas that suspiciously appear to contain elements of common sense. Did the bouffant blonde really concoct such wonders with his own two hands?

From one Juvenal to another, the notion of Latin back in the classroom, is a scary one for TTG. For seven years, her comprehensively torturous school, force fed Livy and Cicero, boring into her innermost skull, the dastardly declensions, mens-a, mens-o, ecce Romani, riddles written in a dead tongue.

Still it stopped TTG from hitting the streets and abusing others - she'd rather do that to the books and she did, often - scribbling on that bastard Vigil's head.

Latin is not picked for choice, it's picked to impress - to demonstrate survival of the fittest (you have only survived in life if you survived Latin)

Box-pop

Also in Bozzy's to-do-list is boxing class - another try to pent out the aggression of Lundun's youths. Well it didn't work for one infamous MP, who certainly has no RESPECT for his fellows. Why not instead set up in each gym, school and centre a de-cross room.

A room where pent-up people can throw to their heart's content, foam things at walls, at others' faces, where they can place pics of their bosses and staple paper penises to their heads or plunge scissors into their scalp.

Well TTG would pay to go- need she bring a picture of Brownie or do they have one in stock?

Little Bo-Weep

Boz steps down as MP in safely Tory seat, Henley. He shall be missed :(


Lost-their-witsSun

Cancelled. The Chrit festival has been axed off calendars and written off into obscurity and guess what, noone knew. Is that the latest Harbour (aka - Labour - always hangs around and is hated) policy to make bad, bad, bad decisions and not tell? Oh, hasn't that always been their held- hand -on-heart-on-sofa conduct of gov life? ;-)


EU-Ire-land

Ireland, Ireland, together....get to vote on the Lisbon Treaty on the 12th. Maybe TTG should put on her dodgy Irish accent and get to the voting booths....



Obama the Moon

As it says in the title, TTG has another electoral triumph notch to add to her bedpost - her fave man over the pond has been declared the democratic nominee. After 17 months of incessant coverage of the campaign, the colour of the candidates,low cash funds, and shameless celebs cashing in on the limelight, Obama faces next losing to the chip off the old block, McCain - the 'Nam man.
American democracy: working towards a lighter future

Take a tip from California

Dear Mr Brown, here is how to solve the terrible terror teething and immigration ires, click here for a policy that WILL work.

Regards,

Your biggest critic,

TTG

Spews on the News

TTG is back to your humble 'puter screens after run-ins with life (workies), hell (aka university grad arrangements), Morgan spice and a pinch of the past. (My first breaking story, in fact)

Here's this week's slightly skewed news, brought to you by one disgruntled blogger, mildly relieved by the sight of a Tory succession in the horizon.

One Fist Call

Released May 30, 2008 to all phone lines near you

Directed/acted/produced by Gordon Brown PM

Downing Street productions introduces for the first time since 1997 a feature length horror tale that'll leave the viewer breathless, grinding their nails to dust, and distressed to the grave.

The story follows the footsteps of voters viciously killed by a single phone call that tortures its victims by spinning off ceaseless verbal diahorrea lies that 24 hours or one Brown budget later, bores to their inner skull and kills them outright.

Each victim sucked soulless into the red calls is left motionless with Labour handouts in mouth.

One party is on Brown's tracks, Prepped and ready to stunt the smarm offensive Right in its tracks but can they reanimate life into a nation hit by the cold call phenomen for well over a decade?

Watch the trailer here:

Hung like a democracy

Serial shagger Clever Clegg has 'parently been pipped to become Home Sec. if the Totties win Top of the Chops in 2010. Despite the polls bending backwards to prove the Tories are top dogs with first Crewe, second, the refusal to immortalise LM (Lousy minister) Brown into wax in Tussauds and third, a whopping 24 per cent lead, Cameron isn't yet convinced.

While Cleggy may be happy to take over the job of parliamentary clown from the reformed Boris who has politically matured in his young reign of London, the move seems to cover Tory derrieres who wish not to bring out the fanfare until power is in their grasp.

Besides, does Broon really stand a chance of making up that loss over the next two years, without copping it at the finish line?

TTG doubts profusely that Things Can Only Get Better in the demise and fall of the flying Scotsman.

Read all about it here.


London Blunderground

Poor BOJO has lost his MOJO (Mayoral opalescence and judicious organisation) and faces more than a telling off after drunkard pranksters stuck up two glasses at the Mayor by boozing on the thin yellow line.

Part of a facebook protest the Last Round ended in attacks on drivers, cops and TFL staff before it drew to a hazy end.

A twist in the ale, was er, that unions now believe Boris, the man behind the can ban on tubes, should apologise for their behaviour.

Last time TTG checked, Boris was the Mayor, a glorified overseer of the London construction site, filled with free-thinking individuals who make and take their own actions and should pay the consequences. BOJO is no more responsible for their actions than say, the newsagents and off-licences who sold off the booze to the protesters.

Why not, unions, blame the disgustingly behaved drunks who savagely hit the staff in their line of work for their OWN behaviour? Novel idea, eh?

Lem's Bit of Cheeky: Don't Touch my Bum!

Gabriela, the other half of the misfit Cheeky Girls pop outfit, has gained entry into the Commons after apparently needing a refuge from "adoring fans". It wouldn't have anything to do with that her fiance is the Lib Dem MP Opik and that the Romanian may face deportation.

Maybe, just maybe, Opik has an autobiography in the pipeline and hopes to secure a headline screamer of 'we had sex in the Commons chamber'. Or 'Third date at the Commons tops a day at the Science Museum says Gabriela.'

Well it sounds far more plausible than the notion that she's escaping fans - were there ever any real fans or were their fan base just hair-receding men in their 70s poised to vote for two twins in matching mini shorts?

Make up your mind by watching this vid.