Wednesday, December 31, 2008

We Are the Conservatives


TTG has finally pulled herself away from a week of shovelling chocolate and festive meat leftovers to present you with this solemn resolution.

Whatever the cost may be, TTG declares her resolution for 2009 to fight Labour til the death, til the Conservatives take their rightful place in Number 10 and in the Government.

TTG's not for turning.

To celebrate the coming of the new year, a time when we must take up our oratory arms and attack the Government from all sides, TTG has devised this anthem for all her Blue friends, known and unknown, to praise the Party.

To the tune of Queen's 'We Are the Champions, here's Terrible Tory Girl's Tory Glory anthem, 'We Are the Conservatives'.




I've picked the Blues
Time after time
For harsher sentence
And commitment to crime
For Britain's sake,
we always knew,
that in their hands, the UK will be ace -
You should vote Blue


We are the Conservatives - my friends
And we'll keep on fighting - till we mend
We are the Conservatives-
We are the Conservatives
No time for Labour
'Cause we are the Saviours - of the world.


We've taken our vows
And our election falls -
We brought you Winnie, Maggie, John Major and a tax remit -
Still standing tall -

But it's been no bed of roses
For valiant blues
The Government must go, it's time to put the Reds in bottom place -
It's the time of the Blues


We are the Conservatives - my friends
And we'll keep on fighting - till we mend
We are the Conservatives-
We are the Conservatives
No time for Labour
'Cause we are the Saviours - of the world.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Have yourself a Terrible little Christmas

It's Christmas time everybody and if the closing of Woolies, tin-packed streets of bag laden shoppers and the trashy Christmas cheese carols haven't put you off, you might too feel festive.

With just one day til C-day, Terrible Tory Girl failed miserably to send cards to her adoring fans ;)

TTG hopes this non-PC, non Winter Holiday card is suffice.


Hope Yule have a merry Christmas


Terrible Tory Girl

Friday, December 12, 2008

Feed the Dems (Do they know it's Christmas time?)

It's that time of year and Terrible Tory Girl's heart bleeds for the Liberal Democrats. The waster votes are hardly a conspicuous lot at times but they don't deserve to be shunned and forgotten.

In the spirit of goodwill, Miss TTG has dedicated this special version of hit charity song 'Feed the World' to the basketcase Dribberals in the hope of generating some publicity for the yella fellas.

Any publicity is good publicity, right?

Here is TTG's gift to you, the gift of song:



Feed the Dems (Do they know it's Christmastime?)


It's Christmastime,
There's no need to be afraid,
At Christmastime, we forget fights and count our aid
And in our world of gentry we can win seats with our boys
Throw your arms around the Dems at Christmastime

But say a prayer


Pray for the other ones
At Christmastime it's hard, but when your election's won
There's a sect outside your window
And it's a sect of dread and fear
Where the only cash wad flowing is the bitter sting for peers
And the Christmas votes that swing there are the hanging councils of doom
Well tonight thank God it's Dem instead of you

And there won't be dough in Cowley St this Christmastime
The greatest gift they'll get this year is life
(Oooh) Where support never grows
No reign, delivers low
Do they know it's Christmastime at all?

(Here's to you) raise a glass for everyone
(Here's to them) ridiculed and politically shunned
Do they know it's Christmastime at all?


Feed the Dems
Feed the Dems

Feed the Dems

Let them know it's Christmastime again

Feed the Dems
Let them know it's Christmastime again

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

We believe in Gord, the Saviour of the world


Good Gord: Our modern saviour



And lo, as God taught us, his son shall rise again, in the House of Gord. He cometh not to condemn Britain but to save it.

Gordon is not of this earth but a heavenly being with our cross to bear.

For he has saved Africa, Britain, Iraq and soon Afghanistan. And soon, he'll save you

John 3:16-21
God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him might not perish but might have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world might be saved through him. Whoever believes in him will not be condemned, but whoever does not believe has already been condemned, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God. And this is the verdict, that the light came into the world, but people preferred darkness to light, because their works were evil. For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come toward the light, so that his works might not be exposed. But whoever lives the truth comes to the light, so that his works may be clearly seen as done in God.




Show your support for our very modern saviour by joining the group 'We believe in Gord, the Saviour of the world' on facebook.

Show your support for Terrible Tory Girl by being her fan on facebook (Self-promotion all the way, baby!)

Monday, December 08, 2008

Political obituary - Phil Woolas loses immigration fight




Phil Woolas, has lost his political fight. Woolas, who was told he had years to come of prosperous political life, was found slumped in the Commons just moments after he told his people that the EU floodgates would open "over my dead body"


In his political prime, Phil's last two months as Immigration Minister changed the face of the UK.

Phil, who diligently gaffed on television, spent his last hours of his political life revealing his blueprint to give every migrant the chance to get a passport and recalling fondly of his son's school with its 20 languages.

Phil will not be sorely missed by his colleagues, comrades and Conservatives.

Saturday, December 06, 2008

Eur' no!


Euro play money...not just a game anymore

TTG gives you this little number while she plots her next piece on her blog.


Eur' no!

Eur'(o) we go
Eur'(o) we go
Eur'(o) we go
Europe, Here we go.
Mandy's going to sell Britain's soul
Eur'(o) we go

Peer ole Peter, has the pound sold,
Eur'(o) we go
Brown and Barroso, have their goal
Eur'(o) we go
With Brussels power, will get the job done
This is the year will get Euro for a sum

Eur'(o) we go
Eur'(o) we go
Eur'(o) we go
Europe, Here we go.
Mandy's going to sell Britain's soul
Eur'(o) we go