EXCLUSIVE: Tony Blair wins Presidency

Winner of US Election 2008: Tony Blair

Well the votes haven't yet been all been penned but TTG has a sneaky suspicion, not influenced by the polls whatsoever, that changeling Obama is next to step into the Presidents' hot seat.

While TTG was convinced the Old Arrogant POW (OAP) would have his dying moments in the Oval as Mrs Palin gets off her knees to announce herself as the US Pres, TTG was utterly butterly wrong.

In the midst of capitalist collapse and rich bankers having to trade in their exec cars for a model three years older, it seems the world would rather have the last laugh and giggle at the expense of rich sods losing their cash to the wind.

Apparently Socialism is their preferred solution... despite that when Capitalism last crashed on its costly anus, the rise of the Reds left us with not a lot to play with. One Cold War and plenty of sateillite countries brainwashed by Romanov Ruskis.

Still, if the Yanks prefer to believe that they will sit in a hippy drum circle, holding hands with Proles and billion dollar men, each with the same pay packet and free health care at the touch of a button, then go ahead. Vote Obama.

He's an affable geezer, yes, but how long will it be 'til this Disney dream prince novelty wears off?
For behind the words and the sexy striped suits, lies inexperience, and a very American Tony Blair.

He is a wide-eyed twenty something intern, convinced the world's woes can be remedied with a flash of his seductive smile. That poverty can somehow be reversed with a speech. Just like his pal Tone, the man whose risks and oratory took Britain to its knees before he buggered off to cash in on the UK's misera.

Good luck America, this vial of truth will be hard to swallow, but you're the next world power to fall for one man.




An anthem for doomed booths

Little donkey, little donkey on the campaign road

Got to keep on plodding onwards with your precious load

Been a long time, little donkey, through the election night

Dont give up now, little donkey,

Washington's in sight

Swing out those votes tonight

Washington, Washington

Follow that Red Star tonight

Washington, Washington

Little donkey, little donkey, had a levy day

Little donkey, carry Marx safely on his way

Little donkey, little donkey, journey's end is near

There are yes-men waiting for a sign to bring them here

Do not falter little donkey, there's a Red star ahead

It will guide you, little donkey, to DC ahead.

Rig out those votes tonight

Washington, Washington

Follow that Red star tonight

(to) Washington, Washington

Little donkey, little donkey, had a levy day

Little donkey, carry Marx, safely on his way

Little donkey, carry Marx, safely on his way

Little Blue Riding Hood

Once upon a time there was a dear young man named David, who loved the colour blue more than anything else. His clothes were blue, his views were blue and his heart was blue. The colour blue suited David so well that he became known as Little Blue Riding Hood.
One day, after ten years of high rates of income, inheritance and council tax, increasing state control and illegal warfare, Little Blue heard that the public were unhappy and so decided to cook up a home-made policy plan embracing the colour green as well as blue to try to cheer up the public.
But the Central Office did not like the colour green. Green, they said, would not relieve the public of their political blues.
With Brown Wolf already scooping up their smiles and cheers from the public, the Central Office did not think that Little Blue could make a difference.
Little Blue was sad but not defeated. He picked up his secret policy notes that he had hidden from the Brown wolf in fear that he may gobble them up for himself and set out for Blackpool.
As Little Blue entered the political jungle, he saw Brown Wolf but was not afraid. Little Blue said to Brown wolf. "So, Brown, what's it going to be? Why don't you go ahead and call that election? Let the people pass judgment on ten years of broken promises."
The Brown wolf smiled crookedly and produced from his pocket the favourable press coverage and the month’s political polls, with Brown Wolf higher in popularity.
Little Blue did not stir at the figures and replied, “If you treat [the public] like fools you don't deserve to run the country let alone win an election. We will win.”
At this, Little Blue continued on the right path, leading to Blackpool.
The Brown Wolf, however, keen to stay popular, speeded to the house of the public.
Rubbing his gruff claws in glee, he thought of a dastardly plan: to call back 1000 loved-ones from Basra which would stop the public listening to Little Blue’s idea of giving them more power.
As Little Blue thought up policies such as strengthening borders, putting more police on the beat, bringing back blazers and offering elite education, Brown Wolf had sneakily enticed the public through deception because he knew that an order to bring back Basra troops by Christmas would make the public forget all about Little Blue and forget about their desire for a referendum…

To Be Continued…

Will the public be saved from Brown Wolf? Will Little Blue rescue them from another ten years of spin, lies, taxes and control?

Find out in the next instalment of Little Blue Riding Hood.