Thursday, December 31, 2009

Politicians' promises for 2010

Resolution ... Brown takes a break from Labour policy

While Terrible Tory Girl struggles to make and keep her own resolution for 2010, here she shares the promises politicians plan and really ought to make for the beginning of the Tens.

Gordon Brown: Win back public backing; no longer be a YouTube laughing stock; get out of the Brown stuff

TTG's suggestion: Avoid these words, 'change', 'fourth term', 'world', 'Eton',in 2010
Use these instead: 'Resign', 'I' ,'Will', 'now'

Nick Clegg: Leader of the Lib Dumbs: To become a credible alternative to Labour and the Conservatives

TTG's suggestion: Become visible by tattooing 'Hi, it's Nick here, you local Lib Dem' on your forehead; grow a moustache - prove that the Lib Dems can make a decision and it may just make it easier for voters to spot you in a crowd; must not copycat Cameron

Harriet Harman: Another year, another load of bonker bills to push - housing rights for squirrels, anyone?

TTG's suggestion: Put your feet up. You've worked too hard, Harry! Give those bills a rest in 2010.

Peter Mandelson: Make Brown an offer he can't refuse ... and a Chancellor job please

TTG's suggestion: Cut down on use of grease on a day-to-day basis; Keep resignations to the one

Nigel Farage: Got to pick a voter or two ...

TTG's suggestion: Give up going to silly parties like, um, UKIP ... Come to your rightful leader, Cameron

Boris Johnson: Crikey, must keep on to my mayoral staff

TTG's suggestion: Bloody fix TFL! Carry on the good work.

Vince Cable: Come up with another catchphrase slogan winner. Bananaman Brown ... he's always slipping up ... um ... no, scratch that.

TTG's suggestion: Stick to the day job which is .... ?

George Osborne: Show the public the size of my Budget ...

TTG's suggestion: Pose for Playgirl - that'll boost your profile ;) ... and it gets TTG's support

William Hague: Cut down on the ten pinters
TTG's suggestion: Please bring back the baseball cap - we need a bit of fun in our live.

Michael Gove : Blitz bad school records

TTG's suggestion: Show the political world what a star you really are. You need to spell out to voters just why the Tories with you as their education chief can see the return of the three R's - arithmetic, writing and reading.

Alistair Darling: Stand up to my bully, Brown

TTG's suggestion: Darling, matching is this year's trend ... do something about those eyebrows. Hair dye available at all good stores.

David Miliband: Show Britain just what Hilary sees in sexy stallion me!
TTG's suggestion: Must be a job going in Europe ... goodbye, David

Ed Balls: Be more successful, i.e be successor to Brown

TTG's suggestion: Must not have leader delusions or delusions of grandeur; perhaps admit Yvette is your long-suffering wife?

David Cameron: Go North - get on the right side of our Northern neighbours; keep Britain together; get people voting for us.

TTG's suggestion: You'll never win this class war business; this year just concentrate on outing these incompetent incumbents.

Do you have any resolution ideas for our MPs? Add your own by commenting below.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Have a Terrible Christmas ... love TTG

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Happy New Year!

Rumour has it, excited Broon can't wait to unwrap his election campaign as he pushes the date forward yet again with claims that it could now be as early as the New Year!

When the polling gets tough for the Tories, it's funny how Labour get less tougher on the idea of popping the election question.

Here's an early toast to 2010 - the year that WE CAN for once and for all get rid of rubbish - our incumbent government.

Thanks Gord for the belated Christmas present - one, us Tories shall cherish for years to come.

Sunday, December 06, 2009

Labour put the ass in class war

Isn't it about time Labour gave it a rest about public schools?

It's always a class act with the roses. Toff this, Eton that. Yawn. Isn't it time these school boy bullies grew up and entered reality?

It's been said that those who resort to personal attacks have already lost the debate. Labour have lost not only the debate but the touch with the public.

Has it really come to taunting? Is this the side, we Conservatives, are to fight? A party which is fuelled by jealousy and emotion? A party who want only the greater good for those who didn't prep at a public school? We don't need another class war clash. It's tested, tiresome and a terrible tactic to divert attention from the poor, shoddy job the Gov are doing for us.

Besides as our Ken rightly said, if Labour want to play spot the publicly schooled, TTG is sure some of the names on their bench might just crop up at Eton, St.Pauls and the like.

But hey, who cares? It's only school. Not exactly the experience anyone enjoyed, even at Eton. There are far more important issues to be angry about such as the people in life never do a day's work and are mummied by the state from cradle to grave. What is so wrong with a family wanting to invest in their child's future by sending them off to boarding school? 'Cos they sure aint getting a future at the schools Labour have on offer.

Their new big education fallicy is to make students pay for their shortcomings by hiking up the student debt to pay for the unemployed to do volunteer work. Surely the answer is in the name ... it's VOLUNTARY ... what big costs are involved in work which is, er, unpaid? Maybe, just maybe, if they cut the sheer volume of cash they throw in the direction of benefit careerists, they could do this scheme without making students pay the price doubly. Or maybe make it a condition for benefit claimants who aren't seriously disabled or bearing children to put their time to good use?

We should be encouraging children to want to carry on with their education. What student wants to double their debt to help the unemployed get work experience without going in the red?

It smacks of Marx, this exile of the educated. May we get the outcome we all hope for in May/June/July whenever Gordon "Eton-is-evil" Broon decides to call the public to the polls.

Let's sort the state of this country out by booting out this Socialist state.

P.S Sorry TTG hasn't posted in a while - twas the holiday season!