Saturday, March 22, 2008

Spews On The News - Holy Week Special

The most revered Terrible Tory Girl apologises for her long unforeseen departure from her blogger page - a Mr D.Issertation is to blame and TTG has a feeling that Mr D will cast its horrific Churchillian shadow for weeks to come.

Back at her desk, it's time to organ grind, rant and preach to mark Holy week.

PPPick Up a Passion For BBC Drama
TTG is pleasantly surprised and biblically hooked to new short dramatisation of the Holy Week, The Passion. Not only is it fair, unbiased and strangely accurate (this is the BBC!) but it's entertaining on top. With actor Joseph Mawle playing a true to life Iesu Christe, and supported by TV faves James Nesbitt, David Oyelowo from Spooks and Ben Daniels, the programme can be easily picked up by fellow Bible bashers, teens or socialists. Good, clean religious fun!
Don't miss the last episode on Easter Sunday at 9.30pm, BBC 1!
Click here for more info about the programme.

He's Got The Whole Voting World In His Palms

Palm Sunday - March 16, 2008

2000 odd years after Jesus was welcomed by crowds of palm-clad admirers, David Come-soon's preaches are making their holy mark on voters, with his Disciples and He, gathering more voters for the Compassionate cause. Epolitix reported on Palm Sunday that David is preparing his second coming to the political world and with the news that he is 16 points ahead of the Prole Pharisees lurking in the Labour camp, it is sure to be blessed with success.

A new covenant might be on the cards, eh readers? TTG of course wishes David every chance in toppling the current temple but she draws the line at the biblical eating of his body and blood.

Maundy Thursday, March 20, 2008

Chariot of Quire: "When Rowan washed my sins away..."

While our Sovereign made headlines by heading to non-EIREland for Maundy Thursday, to hand over 82p of her dosh to 82 men and women, TTG can reveal that Archi-non-bald Rowan Will-imams might be giving up the day job of part time Imam.

Much to the pleasure of newly enlightened TTG as she seated to have her feet cleansed by Rowan, it would seem the Welsh ducal Chrit is quite engrossing himself into Christian work - first washing the feet of 12 of the unwashed (including TTG) and secondly with a second public appearance on Easter Sunday.

TTG prays this marks the return to the Bible for the Theologian for good.

God, can you hear me? ...

Good Friday, March 21, 2008

Hot Cross Gun: Gurkhas in pickle

Like the religious currant buns, the Gurkhan men who have fought for England for nearly 200 years, are more than just cross. Angry that yet again their pleas to receive equal pay, pension and privilege as UK citizens have been thwarted by the surly Scot, McBroon, the Nepals have given back their war time medals.

The law states that any Gurkhan man who served before 1997 has to apply for stay in the country yet those who served later can stay without so much of a hint of immigration paperwork.

Captain Clegg of the Dribberals held a medal up high before signing a motion against the discrimination of the Gurkhas who are denied refuge in the country they once fought valiantly to protect.

The bizarre law which prevents the automatic stay of these men was demonstrated in the question by the Shadow of the Opposition leader, Clogg: "Can you explain to the Gurkhas why on earth you believe that Gurkhas who served in the Army after 1997 are worthy of British citizenship but those who served before that date should be deported?"

Ladbroking the Bread

As Jesus watched from up high, exalted on the cross, while the Roman guardsmen cast lots on his clothes, it seems the good ole betsmen of modern times have carried on this tradition by opening the betting shops on Good Friday.
It would seem the secular scum are revelling in this overturn of the long law of keeping bets to themselves with the Times quoting one man “It’s a modern world, this is sport, not religion."
Quite, Mr Secular Scowler but in the immortal words of Guns and Roses, Every Throw Has Its Thorn? Remember as you roll, that Jesus gave up his life and was sacrificed. And for what, so you can pray for a big win while sinning to the hilt? Perhaps a refresher course of hell, damnation might re-adjust these views. You'll be begging for God's salvation then!

Easter Eve, March 22, 2008

Super Troopers: France's pledge to send men to Afghan fight

Hark! Dozy Sarkozy will proclaim the arrival of 1,000 Francs. to war-stricken Afghanistan to help out political bud Brown. If you thought his friendship with Bliar was bad enough, this latest seance with McFrown will make you do just that, frown in rage.

Mirror sees red but Cameron unfortunately doesn't
After dirty journo tactics acquired only in the gutter of Fleet Street, the Mirror released tapes of the Tory duc "breaking" the Highway code by running a red light and turning up a one-way street. The pedantic clips which pointed rules broken by everyday bi-wheelers each day, were passed on the police who now will lecture the leader.

A cheek considering that the Labour luvvy paper supports money launderers incumbent in public office who definitely deserve a ticking off or two from the police.

*Bye for now, but don't forget to view in in the next few days for more rants, complaints exclusively from your favourite terrible Tory girl.
While TTG heads to the Cathedral for psalms, hymns and more, click on the following links for Easter fun in prep for the big day tomorrow.

Saturday, March 08, 2008

Who (Under) Dunnit?

BBC Exclusive: Gordy Bear-on in Mrs T poison scandal*

Maggie Thatcher, the public's hearts snatcher, is recovering after a dodgy dinner at a Lords do sent her to Hell's ward run by some of the nation's worst cases of narcissitic scrubber nurses.
Mrs T however proved she had an iron will as she fought to stop the evil hand of communism spreading through her veins, destroying sanity and worth in its deadly path.
Police believe that the prime suspect, who remains anonymous, (it's Brown!) was caught red/blue handed putting destructive Russian inspired and untraceable poison into her soup.
The BBC reported that the Octarian odd axed PM felt 'giddy and queasy' as she tucked in.
She detoured to St Thomas' Hospital after her "legs buckled" where she spent the night taking tests.
Results have so far revealed "nothing of substance."
Mr Brown was quick to send his love to his one-time friend, with whom he hooked up last year.

In other news, Harriet Harman has had to eat her alphabet soup words after claiming Mrs T, from the C Team did nothing for women. Er...nor have you Miss Har-'dly a wom'-an. Haven't seen you burning any bras lately, have you?

*If you have been affected by the following story, please email Terrible Tory Girl in complaint. Here's the BBC story in full.

Thursday, March 06, 2008

Time To Say Goodbye...To A Referendum

Epolitix wrote today: " MPs have rejected calls for a referendum on the European Reform Treaty.
A Conservative move to force a national poll was rejected by 311 votes to 248, a majority in support of Gordon Brown's government of 63.
And a second vote on an amendment put forward by Labour eurosceptic Ian Davidson was also thrown out, by 311 votes to 247."

Not only will the Englots, Scotch Eggs or Leekians* be refused a vote on having their work, health and laws peeled away and handed over to the plates of Brussells by parliamentary reps voted in by us, but these Euro luvvies even have the cheek to say it's matters of the diktat, i.e, it's none of our business.

Ken Clarke said: "I actually believe in parliamentary democracy and I think this ought to be determined by Parliament."

(*Aye-land gets to vote)

But readers, let us forgive their trespasses into Europe and may God forgive our trespasses as we trespass against these parliamentary pigs.

For we have a power that time under Labour forgot : the franchise.

While they, as David Cameron rightly pointed out, broke their promise of a referendum, we can easily break them by putting a vote for the local drippy UKIP candidate or the militant student calling for shorter skirt hems. Hit them where it really hurts - their pay packet. Hmm, smells like skean spirit.


See how quickly those hommes et femmes politiques want to listen then!

Politicians: Working for you, everytime.