@Cameron, don't be a Twit

#getontwitterdave? Come off it! That's the last thing our beleaguered leader wants to do. Just because Labour are apparently winning the war on the cyber airwaves with their likely abusive and confrontational tweets, it does not mean we should follow suit and subject our pride and integrity through the dirty as the press seek to sully Cameron on his choice of words or socks.

Twitter? Who really cares? What a sad state of affairs that the incumbent incompetents in charge can only contest in a bitter exchange on Twitter than in the House or in their politics, or in their policies or in their constituencies. And the sole reason they are doing so darn well (apparently) is thanks to their Twitter Tsar, you know, the one who's on a six figure sum.
Well if you can get the work ... That cash could have been better used for schools, roads but instead it was used to push their propaganda on a site which is free! They'd be better off employng some Labourlist luvvie at £15k a year than an ageing Mr Stott.

We have a hard-pressed election on our hands on May 6 (thanks for that, Bob) - we have just four months to convince Britain that Cam's the man to fix our broken state and to change the mind of millions of voters. And Twitter is not the way to do it.

No one wants a swotty, proficient Twit who puts the @ into Great Britain as their PM - they want policies, promises that can be kept, a solution, a plan. Not a 140 character status update that Cameron is kicking about with some youths in Oxfordshire.

We want cyber substance not cyber style. The me-me-me attention-grabbing Twit shit won't wash with voters. You can't run a country behind a computer screen in a dingy flat yet for some absurd reason, hundreds of thousands (including silly old TTG) can't wait to sign up to tell the world about their inactivity. If you can update what you're doing, you're really not doing anything at all. Just look at Obama, away from the computer and offline, what does that leave? Yes we can ... update Twitter but not much else.

Do we really want updates in the future, should DC be PM come May, such as "just in a cabinet meeting - gosh, I'm bored with all this policy lark" ? Do you really want political breakthroughs to amount to a worthless sentence? "got our bill for british rights through the commons. yippee. tyl"

We don't have much time left to fight and Terrible Tory Girl doesn't want this vital campaign hours on the clock used to talk to online voters who probably will be too busy on Twitterdeck to go to the polls in any case.

Britain is ready for change. Let us prove to the public that ask for a better Britain, and they will receive it ... from The Conservatives.

Shut your Trapps - it's good for your health says Westminster

BRITAIN's taxpayers are to be slapped with a ban on TALKING after MPs paved the way for Trappist Monk style rule.



Under controversial plans, politicians have vowed to slap a silence order on Brits and cut free speech to an all-time low.



A senior civil servant yesterday quashed claims that the hush-hush bill will keep Brits in their place.



"Freedom of speech is not good for British citizens. Abuse of speech has health implications through the over-exertion of the brain and flailing limbs. Asking questions raises the average taxpayer's blood pressure and 0.0000000000056 per cent of patients admitted into hospital with high blood pressure were found to have shared an opinion or made an MP feel uncomfortable.



"The Government have looked into other forms of communicating with your fellow man and discovered this healthier alternative - not talking at all. A testing panel of 0 patients showed an overall improved level of calmness and serenity and blood pressure levels were normal. Health experts have welcomed these findings and this bill."



Under the proposals, taxpayers will not be allowed to ask politicians questions on TV, in debates or on the street.





....Find out more about this story by clicking here

Onward Conservative soldiers

Our foes have attacked our fearless leader in the press, in public and on Twitter for too long.

Let us get our overdue revenge ... by not retaliating to their wargames. We must get even.

Let us show the country just what Cameron is all about and just why Britain would be better run with him at our helm.

Here is your mission: go on http://www.andybarefoot.com/politics/cameron.php and make your posters for our glorious stand against Labour and its hellish destruction.

Join this courageous crusade below:

See TTG on brill blog London Spin Online

If you're wondering where your fill of TTG is, you can find it here on the wonderful blog, London Spin Online.

Don't worry, Terrible Tory Girl isn't disappearing on you just yet. There's an election to be won and there's always space for a ranting, raving Tory girlie to rabble rouse true blue credentials on the internet.

Britain's in the grit as Labour go to rations

Rational thinking obviously doesn't enter Labour's vocabulary as their latest policy decision is to ration salt.

While our country turns each day into a national ice rink, with Brits paying for a ticket to skate with their cars, Labour sit back probably de-icing their driveways and put a stop to councils trying to deliver salt for their constituents.

With reports reckoning the next nine nights will be sub-zero as our snow nightmare continues, they decide like the buffoons and loons they are, to pick a policy which defies common sense, logic and funnily enough health and safety.

Salt is bad for us, people, remember? The Department of Health always go on about it enough so obviously even when we need a bit of salt in our lives to protect ourselves from slipping and breaking something, they stick to their guns.

Even shop keepers who dare to grab a shovel or grit to clear the roads the Govment refuse to do, risk getting sued.

The proof is in the pudding: The heat is on and Labour can't rise to the occasion.

Britain's in the grit with Labour en force - there's a credible choice this May and that's to vote Conservative.

Coming up in Westenders

• After rumours Burny is gonna leave Parliament Square for good, Andy decides to stay put ...for now

• Tess gets itchy feet and storms out of the cabinet. Could she be the next Westender to leave the political soap for a stint in the lead role of Yes Prime Minister?

• The circus is coming to town and Tony makes his long-waited return to the plot. But will his Great Disappearing Act routine see him escape the blame for Iraq?

• Heavy snow gets residents up in arms when they are stuck in their homes - can Gordon get the roads gritted in time?
  

TV's Andy Pandy in leadership bid shocker

Andy Pandy has been linked to a leadership coup

BASKETCASE Andy Pandy has put his name in the ring to stand as the next Labour leader.

The marionette, who lives in a basket, is rumoured to resign from the toybox in a bid to oust Gordon.

Train wreck ... Gordon is furious

Gordon is said to be fuming after hearing his favourite political puppet has pulled strings with other toys to back him should he choose to stand, unaided.

The unpopular puppet, Andy Pandy, who is yet to reveal his power plans, was unavailable for comment but was seen "waving goodbye" to his toy cabinet colleagues.



However, sources close to the toybox claim that Gordon is furious that Andy Pandy, who he propped up for a plush job in Health, dares to plot against him and has pledged to fight to the death if "Andy Pandy comes out to play".

More on this story as it breaks later...