Wednesday, September 08, 2010

Get a twin room, media!

Sex, sex, sex!

That's all it has been these few weeks. Despite being an avid reader of News of the Screws, and lapping up who's dunnit with who this week, TTG is finding it all rather tiresome.

First it was William Hague and the alleged sexual aid he was getting from his aide - all because he thought it wise to save a bundle of cash or two by sharing a room while out campaigning. But apparently this innocent gesture led to all kinds of peoples' dirty minds whirring at an alarming rate as hundreds scorned the Foreign Sec for wanting to cut costs. TTG sends out her support to all those embroiled in this alleged 'scandal' or bedgate.

Then Tony Blair thought he would etch in our heads the most horrific image in since Human Caterpiller - his love life. between the sheets. with cherie. Now Terrible Tory Girl has had enough of lothario Tone's sexual healing boasts after unfortunately coming across a copy of The Sun in 2005 where the then PM revealed him and Cherie celebrated winning the election by adding four knots on the bedpost that night. TTG is still haunted by this.

No wonder Dublin threw eggs and bottles at Blair. No one needs to or ever wants to hear about you being a hot lover ... wait while TTG brings up the bile over that one.

And of course, not forgetting a balding footy pro who put his foot in it (and his football brain) by hooking up with a hooker. Now none of any of the above involved in these sex scandals are in TTG's public interest, namely because they aren't exactly the people your everyday person will think about in a lusty fashion. Sorry Will, but you're just not TTG's type.

So media, get a twin room... unless of course it's a double page spread of any of the following in their pants:

-Gerard Butler
-Colin Firth
-Johnny Depp
-George Osborne (?)

2 comments:

Tony Duke said...

no accounting for bad taste hey?

Alex said...

Also no immagination