Wednesday, August 25, 2010

A Conservative guide to naming your baby

Today in little Truro, Cameron the Younger was born, a bonnie bouncing girl. As our power duo, Sam Cam and DC recover from the wonder of birth, TTG has got the name-calling down to a T.

Here's her guide for David and Sam on what to call their daughter without making any political faux-pas with the backbenchers.


  • Beryl - Now this is up your street, Dave. Going Greek won't just boost our position in Europe but you can't go wrong with a name which means blue-green. Befitting of our logo - a keeper.
  • Victoria - For Christ's sake, it even has 'Tori' in the title, it's a name that once belonged to a monarch and it's V for Victory. An all-rounder.
  • Michaela - Honour your predecessor leader Michael Howard with this female form of his name
  • Clementine - It was good enough for Winston, it's good enough for you.
  • Margaret - A risky one. But a fantastic way to honour our Lady
  • Nicole - Celebrate the Coalition union with this


  • Harriet - means estate. Also a name of a hysterical Labour harpy
  • Yvette - Other name half of Ed Balls. Don't balls up her future with that juxtaposition
  • Scarlet - red alert. Now we don't want anything that colour now!
  • Anita - its meaning gives all the wrong connotations. Grace and favour flats come to mind.
  • Halle - While the gorgeous Halle Berry has no problems with her name, it means home rule. Not something which has done us Tories terribly well.
  • Jessy - A wealthy name. Expect outcries for a ban on her name.
  • Barbara - Foreign. Forget the Sun vote if you pick this.
  • Truro - (is that even a girls name?) - Don't do a Beckham, it just isn't classy
  • Millie - the name of a party on its last legs.
Got a name for the Camerons? Add yours below

1 comment:

John M Ward said...

I favour Verity. It means truth, and is a name I picked for one of the three heroines in my in-progress novel (the others are Ellie and Nisha, incidentally) because I liked it so much.

I think it would work well for the Camerons.