Monday, November 09, 2009

Gordon's past year has been one big mistake

School report for James Gordon Brown

Dear Mr Collins,

We are gravely concerned with Gordon. His work over the last year has been sloppy at best, he has had many behavioural issues such as losing his temper in the classroom and throwing our printer across the room and has generally been a displeasure to work with.

He needs to learn to deal with authority. At the moment, he tries to assume control and dictate the class. He has had many run-ins with our teaching staff due to his aggression. He is stubborn and refuses to give up his appalling attitude. This behaviour is not acceptable and if this is not corrected, we will have to take disciplinary action and take away his prefect position until he behaves as we see fit.

Despite his limited eyesight, which we take into account when assessing his work, he hasn't progressed at all but rather he has got worse. His last work, a letter, was riddled with spelling mistakes that someone at his age, both mental and physical, should not be making. He didn't even spell his own name correctly. His presentation is scruffy, unkempt and he shows a real lack of regard, care or pride in his work.

He is showing a lack of progress even in maths, his favourite subject. He doesn't care if the numbers don't add up anymore. When he doesn't know the answer or figures, he simply makes it up or makes an elaborate excuse as to why he hasn't finished.

His school work aside, we have had many complaints from other teachers and students. He seems to lack any decency and treats his classmates with contempt. He has often lashed out at them and smirks at them in a very derogatory manner. As a result he has isolated himself and is not very popular with the people around him.

His attitude towards authority leaves a lot to be desired. When the headmistress came in into the class this week he refused to stand in her presence, let alone bow. He behaved in the same way when a group of soldiers from the local barracks came to our show and tell.

Could you please over the next few months instill some discipline and respect. There is only so much we can do here for him.

Yours unfaithfully,

Ivor Hadenough

P.S I have enclosed a piece of his latest work to prove his glaring errors.

1 comment:

Charlie Easton said...

Dear Mr Hadenough,

I am briefly writing to concur with your assessment of Gordon's performance. I feel must also draw your attention to Gordon's previous behaviour whilst in charge of the subscription committee of the Kirkaldy scout club. During his time there, Gordon wilfully frittered money away on his pet projects for the month, raising the subs for everyone else in the process. He has also been seen hanging out behind the village hall with Damian, Peter and Alistair. There are even reports in the village that he may be partaking in the habitual use of mind altering substances.

I feel that perhaps Gordon might benefit from a long holiday away from the village. Perhaps the air of Brussels would be more agreeable?

Yours sincerely,

James Riddle, concerned citizen and local busybody