What a joke - Mock the Week gagged over Frankie Boyle's Queen 'pussy' one-liner

WARNING: The following may be offensive to high horse low moralled arm critics whose funny bones were destroyed in the television torture of the 90s where hundreds of thousands gave up their lives to the canned laughter carnage crap of the likes of Friends and small screen shit Scrubs.

House hotty: George Os-horn

George Osborne: Tatton totty

By George, he may be class A Tory trash, but this delectable school boy, Gideon, gets TTG giddy.

Pro corporal punishment (canes, whips and chains), a leading Tory toff and a prepped dialect, this young hot blooded beast of a politician screams sex.

Westminster's Mr Mark Darcy would be right at home in my bed. So much so, that TTG has immortalised her appreciation for the Shadow Chancellor in the following facebook group:

I'd give George Osborne one

Watch the House hotty in action in the Commons below:



And whipped....

Exclusive: McCain 's sex plea to his VP

Johnny measures up his VP Palin

John "Johnny" McCain gets down to business with his hot VP hopeful after hope was lost for the Presidential duo. "A heartbeat away from the Presidency" Palin was only too happy to oblige.

Repub loser sings his Last Supper to hit tune 'Heartbeat':

Were we doomed from the start?

Can we shag before we depart

I made it easier, got you this far.

Give me a reason or gimme a dance

Are you alone my Alaskan tart, sit on my throne

...Your prayers aren't smart

Doing all I can do,

just to be close to you.

Every time that we meet, (more than twice) I skip a heartbeat

Always up for a gaffe, she's a pain in the ass

Every time that we meet, I skip a heartbeat.

Give me an evening, or give me a night.

I'll show you mine, and hide the wife.

I won't mock your home faith, that God lark

I'll give you a packet, I'll give you my heart.

But you won't be financing tonight, you'll have the time of your life.

Doing all I can do, just to be close to you.

Every time that we meet, I skip a heartbeat.

Always up for a gaffe, she's a pain in the ass.

Every time that we meet, I skip a heartbeat.

I do love, she does a moose steak

I did love, till she shot my hart

I do love, she was a mistake

I did love, till she broke my heart.

I do love, though she's a headache.

I did love, till she broke our chart

I do love, she took out our stake

I did love, till she upset the cart

Doing all I can do, just to be close to you. (making you VP)

Every time that we meet, I skip a heartbeat.

Always up for a gaffe, she's a pain in the ass.

Every time that we meet, I skip a heartbeat.

I skip a heartbeat for you.

Doing all I can do, just to be close to you.

Every time that we meet, I skip a heartbeat.

Always up for a laugh, she's a pain in the ass.

Every time that we meet, I skip a heartbeat.

I skip a heartbeat for you.

Were we doomed from the start?

Can we shag before we depart

Obama's a geezer, he's such a star

Give me a reason or gimme a dance

Are you alone my Alaskan tart, sit on my throne

.

..Your prayers aren't smart

Doing all I can do, (Like offer you the VP job) just to get to do you.

The Anglocalypse: The Four Horsemen: The USA, the Labour Party, Oil & the EU

Thus as the Lord prophesised in the Book of Revelations, the coming of the Anglocalypse and its four deadly horsemen, the White House, Labour Party, Petroleum, and the European Union.




Revelations 6: 1-2*


'I watched as the Lamb opened the first of the seven seals. Then I heard one of the four living creatures say in a voice like thunder, "Come!" I looked, and there before me was a white horse! Its rider held a bow, and he was given a crown, and he rode out as a conqueror bent on conquest.'



Revelations 6: 3-4


'When the Lamb opened the second seal, I heard the second living creature say, "Come!" Then another horse came out, a fiery red one. Its rider was given power to take peace from the earth and to make men slay each other. To him was given a large sword.'



Revelations 6: 5-6




'When the Lamb opened the third seal, I heard the third living creature say, "Come!" I looked, and there before me was a black horse! Its rider was holding a pair of scales in his hand. Then I heard what sounded like a voice among the four living creatures, saying, "A quart of wheat for a day's wages, and three quarts of barley for a day's wages, and do not damage the oil and the wine!"'





Revelations 6: 7-8


'When the Lamb opened the fourth seal, I heard the voice of the fourth living creature say, "Come!" I looked, and there before me was a pale horse! Its rider was named Death, and Hades was following close behind him. They were given power over a fourth of the earth to kill by sword, famine and plague, and by the wild beasts of the earth.'


*As written, word for word in the Bible - See, voting Tory, isn't that bad of an idea, is it?

Exclusive: Halifax launches latest campaign

Woke up this mornin' feeling fine
Got £50 billion quid to spend, sealed and signed
We give you a half per cent cut, less than we should
Oh yeah!
Somethin' tells me we're into somethin' good
Somethin tells me we're into somethin'

We're the bank who hasn't got a leg to stand
Joined Gov and were nationalised as planned
And got 200 billion more in bank if we're good
You got your 6.5 rate like you know you should
Somethin’ tells me we’re into somethin’ good
Somethin’ tells me we’re into somethin’

Our credit interest will let you down
If I’m telling you a lie then my name ain’t Brown
Our stakeholders get extra and you know that it's true
We like to get our staff bonuses from you,
Somethin' good oh yeah...

Brown: I need you today, oh Mandy

Labour's sing and dance: Brown serenades Mandelson




"I remember all my life
While miserable with my wife
A shadow of a man
A face in the paper,
Spinning in the night
the night goes into

Morning, just a press day
angry people pass my way
looking in their eyes
I see a jail-free
I never realised
you can make me happy, oh Mandy

Well you came back and gave up your Trading
but I sent you away, oh Mandy
well you kissed us and stopped Labour breaking
I need you today, you're handy

I'm standing on the final dime
My talking away is seen as grime
Caught up in a world of counting timing
The fears are in my mind
and nothing is Prime-ing, oh Mandy

Well you came back and you gave up Trading
to scheme and spin away, oh Mandy
well you missed me and saw job for taking
Yes I need you today, oh Mandy

With a crap cabinet team, I face the morning
Labour on its knees
Party is falling, oh Mandy


Well you came back and you gave up trading
and though I am not gay, oh Mandy,
well you kissed me while you were aide-ing
What do you say today, oh Mandy? "