Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Spews On The News - December 18-19

After a breakaway from blogging, the TTG is back traditionally festive and utterly dubious of global warming...its bloody cold!

Don’t Make Me A Muslim

The bright sparks at channel 4 unveiled this latest bit of reality rubbish last night.
Unpious plebs, including a glamour mum, took to the hijab, to prayer and to fast in their quest to ‘go East’ like those Amoy Asian takeouts with unhilarious results.
As mildly amusing as a burnt korma - TTG missed her terrible chance to sit glued to the screen while reality rats were spoonfed that Britain is such a dastardly evil, bad, bad place. Yes it is. But try to be blooming optimistic, imams.
Having spent half an hour of her woeful life blinking exasperantly at the freak show, TTG has realised with regret that Islam is not the religion for her - she's far too impure.
Still TTG is up for the arranged marriage larky - saves a lot of time better spent gorging on chocolate. TTG is quite poker-face on this venture- bachelor boys email me for further details on wedlock.
Strangely enough, Nick Griffiths was on the credits - no relation to the similarly named BNP man, Nick Griffins, surely?

The Seven Deadly Dems

Perhaps TTG is terribly naïve or dim but conservative home, has anyone really been keeping tabs on the libby lobby contest, let alone worried?
That fact remains that the Dribberals have been busy preening a carbon-free copy of the opposition party leaders in a half baked-bean bid to convince voters that they’re, er, different and er to get their fair slice of the Commons cake.
Here below is the list, lo, foretold to the Conservative people, of the seven deadly Dems. Get out those dust-laden bibles for the horror that awaits under the duty of the dashing Dribberal.
Nick Clegg
Chris Huhne
Vince Cable
Charles Kennedy
Norman Lamb
er…..TTG has run out of Lib DemsLemsip Opik is too busy with marrying his young wife to be a threat, - read the bible for the fear factor of what a Liberal government would bring to the UK.
NB: Entirely fictional but hey worth a try to scare voters into voting for the Terrible Tory's party of choice.
Keeping up with the lippy theme, Cleggover has been crowned leader and beaming Cam has rushed to his centre side asking to join the ranks of the Snories. As well as the Greenies and the Sabres. Is there anyone Cam won't attempt to appease?

The K (aye!) Factor

TTG comes bearing the gift of news to the x factor loony fans out there – Leon won because of his petite-laced partner, Miss Minogue. That and if the Mirror are to be believed, ahem, because of his status as a Scotch broth.
Besides the Cardiffan caroler Rhydian is not rushing back to the West country any time soon – ‘Cats’ maestro has picked up the bleached babe bachelor's contract. Ditch the independent ITV investigation - no one cares that much, it's just a show and an Xtremely rubbish one at that.


DVLA records lost. Oh dear what a blooming shame. On good news, the Sun have a new -gate scandal to add to their list and crappy drivers not entitled to bunny-hop Britain's roads. Fantastic. Now TTG has even more of a weighty argument to discourage parents/classmates encouraging me to learn and relearn the skills of the voiture.


Nick said...

Au contraire, you most certainly ought to learn how to drive. Without that essential skill you’ll never appreciate just how evil Ken Livingstone is and you’ll lack that added bit of hatred whenever you think of him.

Sitting in TFL manufactured traffic jams is one of the best ways of appreciating just how much contempt the socialists have for the ordinary citizen.

Terrible Tory Girl said...

Nick, you are hilarious but it is the best reason yet to get in a smog car. :D

Nick said...

Interesting (if weird) photo.
Btw I’m not familiar with the :D and :P symbols. Can you elucidate?

Terrible Tory Girl said...

Nick - I am an oddity, I'm afraid to say.

I am a bit of a msn/texter so I use a lot of smiley faces in even written work.

:D - laughing
:P - smirking/sticking out tongue

Hope that helps :P :D

Anonymous said...

TTG is quite poker-face on this venture- bachelor boys email me for further details on wedlock.

Is that a hint?

Nick said...

Thanks for the clarification, the scales have fallen from my eyes.
Going away now so Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
Also, death to the newt lover!

Bunny said...

Shitdriversgate: Now, how exactly do you plan to help in my revolution if you can't take your place at the wheel of a heavily armed tank to drive into the houses of parliament? Hmm?

One sec, I think I hear black helicopters outside.