Saturday, November 10, 2007

Spews On The News 10/11

Terrible Tory Girl is b-b-bitter to the bone. Not only has the Rocking Batman called off sick with a cyst, the size of one of his belter chartbusters but the media biz' whizzes of this world find it highly necessary to incinerate my few and far between brain cells by my writing of a 'reflective journal.'

And there was Terrible Tory Girl, under the impression, that she was enrolled in journalism, not a cheap knock-off of the real deal.

The con is on at Shitty, apparement.

On to the news.....

(Apologies in advance for inappropriate, ire-induced rhetoric roar but abstinence proves futile.)

1) Poppy Goes The Weasel -

Poppies have found themselves pinned to the printing press this week, with typical tales of tin thiefs both here and across the Atlantic in Canada and McCrae's flower icon pasted on the pages.
But to the further delight of the Terrible Tory Girl, the PC loonies haven't come out to play. Pins to pin the popular poppies on lapels have not been banned on grounds of 'elf and safety (as Littlejohn would say) and presenters and public eye personnel have been spared the 'bias' lecture.

Tomorrow, Liverpool will be alit with poppies. A veteran WW2 bomber will drop 300,000 poppy petals onto the crowds as they remember our war heroes.

Hardly news to placate the politically correct.

One anti-poppy protester, who refused to be identified said:*

"This is absolutely ludicrous! Those falling poppies are an accident waiting to happen. Those paper petals could fall into the path of an onlooker's eye and/or in the event of a brewing storm, could drive into the sides of a member of public and cause a pretty nasty case of papercuts. And from a papercut, comes reasonable grounds to sue."

He/she/it added: " And where's our green credentials in all of this pro-war business? Think of the carnage to our streets, littered with red paper, which incidentally, is discriminatory against the rest of the rainbow's colours. With the disposal costs, running into the thousands, we ought not even bother celebrate it at all. Why not an all-colour celebration day instead? Far cleaner, far wimpier and far more to the nature of the absurd activist weasals. Another good job done. "

* Not a real person but quite an accurate view point held by many of Britain's barmy absurd activists.

2) Fly Me To The Huhne

As the Dribberals heat up to axe their Cable to play pick a mix between Nick Clegg and Chris Huhne, Terrible Tory Girl has uncovered that the third way is not all it seems.

The Liberal Democrats, the party of rebel votes, the party shunned by BBC broadcasts, the party trailing behind at 12 per cent, do not offer anything new to the politician eat politican world.

The terrible two candidates, who shall go head to head for the frankly forgotten party crown, have been identified as Menziestein's monsters.

The two who have spent their early lifes skulking in newspaper offices were made in the image of the big political rivals, Gordon Brown and David Cameron before Ming died politically.

Chris Huhne, with a name to match Broon, is an uncanny match to the PM. A former member of the Labour party, the 53-year old, Huhne, like Brown, has a history of economic interest, working for the Independent and Guardian on their finance pages and for proposals for income and green taxes. He too, while as an MEP, has been accused of swindling cash. Chris Huhne, a mere three years younger than his Labour counterpart, is strangely similiar in appearance too.

Huhne, in an interview with epolitix journalists, said he admired Brown's decision to go ahead with the independence of the Bank of England and didn't rule out a spot of party coalition.

"If other parties want to talk about partnership politics, about going into a longer term relationship, then they have to be on the wavelength that allows that to happen.
If you look at every other country in Europe bar none you find that you do have partnership politics because of election systems that are fairer, where every vote counts."

On the same difference scale, Terrible Tory Girl gives Huhne 7/10

Next up of Menzies' Monsters is Nick Clegg, another young hack and political newbie, with election to Commons only two years earlier. Media mogul, dashing and a former adviser to Conservative commissioner Lord Brittan in Brussells, Clegg is considered to be on the right of the party and has already had stark comparisons with the Tory leader, Cameron.
Like Cameron, he abhors ID cards and has distant connections with royalty - for Clegg, it's in imperial Russia.

Clegg told epolitix, in the tongue of Cameron:

"It requires the ability to speak like a human being not a Westminster politician, reach out to voters by starting where people are rather than where we want them to be or think they might be...Frankly, to start playing Westminster footsie with one party or another now is something the electorate would not like and I'm not going to do it."

Clegg gets an 8/10 and the public get yet again less choice in mainstream politics.

3) Queenie, the musical

As the 11 little Labour ducks go dimming in one Queen's Speech, Queenie breaks out in her name counterpart rockfit's verse.

Members, one just reeled a lie,
Put forth this sorry speech,
Lulled ones’ voters to political preach.
Members, one said there’d be homes
But now one’s conscience comes to play.

Members, consuls…

One didn’t want quotas for co2...
If one’s not back from Uganda tomorrow,
Bury one, bury one and rule as if the public do not matter .

Too late, the laws are passed,
teens will have to stay at school
high pensions fitted by you all
goodbye, public freedoms, they have to go
To drive away the bombers and nuclear.
Members, consuls.
One doesn’t want them too
One sometimes wishes we’d never met the EU at all

Next year's song of choice?

'One wants to break politically'

No comments: