Saturday, May 03, 2008

Good-Eye of Newt

TTG's terribly Tory gang have never had it so good. In this week alone, they've thwarted red-top politics in the land of the sheep, knocking Labour from their political pedestals in four seats. They kept their hold on to nearly 50 seats across England, set up twelve Tory camps in the councils and boasted new 256 Conserve councillors. All in a day's work. "Hyperactive politics", Gordy? Hardly.

But the Tors had their cake, ate it too with a cherry on the top, when Boris, the Toryman with one swift blow knocked King Ken out of the ring and became 2008's heavyweight Mayor of the capital.

In other news, Boris will have to spend thousands to remove the slimy, sticky residue left on Eyeball hall by a certain Mr Newt Dyingstone.

The work is not yet done. We must not stop short of our long held aim - to enter number ten and give the public a government that is compassionate, fair, and conscientious of the desires, wills, wants and needs of its people.

Only with Cameron and his cabinet can England survive.

This is the Tory mantra, given to you for the forgiveness of sins that you once voted those slimy Labour snakes in, do this in remembrance that the Tories are good for you.

In the immortal words of the Churchillian chugger of cigars and booze, the Right Honoured Winston Churchill in 'his blood, tears and sweat' speech in 1940:

"We shall fight Labour on the seas and oceans,
we shall fight Labour with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our Island, whatever the cost may be,
we shall fight Labour on the beaches,
we shall fight Labour on the landing grounds,
we shall fight Labour in the fields and in the streets,
we shall fight Labour in the hills;
we shall never surrender."

Here's how London voted (According to wiki - approach with skepticism)

London Mayoral Election Results 2008

Name Party 1st Preference Votes % 2nd Preference Votes¹ % Final

Boris Johnson Conservative 1,043,761 42.48 124,977
1,168,738 53.2

Ken Livingstone Labour 893,877 36.38 135,089
1,028,966 46.8

Brian Paddick Liberal Democrat 236,685 9.63 N/A

Siân Berry Green 77,374 3.15 N/A

Richard Barnbrook British National Party 69,710 2.84 N/A

Alan Craig Christian Peoples Alliance 39,249 1.6 N/A

Gerard Batten UKIP 22,422 0.91 N/A

Lindsey German Left List 16,796 0.68 N/A

Matt O'Connor English Democrats (withdrawn) 10,695 0.44 N/A

Winston McKenzie Independent 5,389 0.22 N/A

For more on the results, click here.

Well done Boris, now is your chance to twinkle, our bright blue star, and demonstrate just why one million Londoners were right to entrust their franchise in you.

*Gordy, the cab's waiting. Why don't you too join ole Kenny in the 'political wilderness'

-The Polls never lie.

1 comment:

Not that Nick Wood said...

Yes a good win for the tories and Boris in particular. To seize London from Labour, particularly with Satan as the incumbent mayor was a devastating blow to Labour. The size of the victory becomes apparent when considering that Boris got more 1st preference votes than Satan got combined 1st and 2nd preference votes.