Friday, November 30, 2007

Horn-Bee - Beehive McDonalds!

Bee Barry Afraid: Dreamworks dreams up porno role after film success

There's a difference at McDonald's you'll sex ed in Happy Meals

McDonalds, perhaps overkeen to keep their kiddy customers and uphold some form of ethics that Happy Mealers don't get with their hypo-hydro-saturated fatful burgers, are appealing for the adult vote.

This month's Happy Meals, sexed up and endorsed by Dreamworks' Bees have included an extra dose of sleaze along with their usual side order.

To follow the release of the entirely original Bee Movie, Happy Meals have included a helpful diagram for Britain's underteens to learn all about our buzzing friends.

McDonalds told youngsters on Happy Meal boxes that 'bees use their long tongues to slurp up the nectar inside the flower."

While Terrible Tory Girl is quite the fan of cold slabs of milimetre thick meat, pre-re-frozen, she reckons McDonalds should concentrate improving their little desired culinary expertises than teaching about the birds and the Bees.

Here are 7 ways how not to advertise a kid's film for a kid's meal.

1) "Join Barry in an online adventure with fun real world activites"

- how did the lawyers not even notice this language blip. At a time when the gov concentrates on harmful content facing young IT users and the concerns of paedophilia, McDo decides to run this not so gem of a phrase to take kids to the film's website. It blatantly sounds an horrific deal even without the name Barry in it.

2) "Free flower seeds with every entry* (* Rules apply)

Most would overlook this but Terrible Tory Girl has read the small print and in this case the unbearingly big innuendo. Terrible Tory Girl will leave her readers faithful to work out that sexual conundrum ;)

3) "To make a jar of honey, a bee has to visit about two million flowers!"

The Terrible Tory Girl feels unable to comment aptly on the bees' productivity (or lack of).

Does the true blue smell a hint of active support for promiscuity? She does wonder how long it would take a man to do the same job.

4) "Do the Waggle Dance. Bees waggle their bottoms in the direction of a flower to tell their friends where it is."

Complete with a picture of a bee "waggling" his backside, Terrible Tory Girl can only presume what "it" may be.

5) "Plant your flower seeds to help keep the bees buzzing!"

That's right boys, take note!

6) "Bees use their long tongues to slurp up the nectar inside the flower and store it in their 'Honey Tummy'. They stuff pollen into special 'baskets' attached to their legs." -

After the lovely sneak peek earlier in this piece, here's the rest of that superb explanation of pollination.

7) "Pollen Jocks"

Of all the names the Yanks could come up with for the flying bee squad characters, they opted for Pollen Jocks, a name that can so easily be changed to some similar sounding obscenity. Oh poppycock.

Terrible Tory Girl is off to regain her sanity and to stifle her giggles. Turrah for now.

(Terrible Tory Girl would like to point out that she took the pic from the movie's live site with the PrtSc button - does that count, Mr Lawyers?)
(Also could someone be so kind to explain what that long slender brown object by the bee's right side is?)


Bunny said...

Oh dear. I think a certain little Tory needs a good washing.

Sanz said...

LOL!!! it was certainly a shock to see that with u!

Jeremy Jacobs said...

Check out LSQ TV LSQ TV (Leicester Square TV) for the latest on Bee Movie.