The Tories Have Never Had It So Good

While Cameron gets up to his knees in floodwater in his Oxfordshire constitiency, the Brutus counterparts in the Cons grab their scythes, knifes and prepare to stab yet again another of their leaders in the back.

Today, my partisan paper, the Express revealed the plans of up to six Tory ministers to axe the very leader who has brought the party to its highest popularity in the polls since 1997.

As the Tory Traitors prepare to vote no confidence in converse clad Cameron, there is one thing we should ponder - is this a cry for help?

The traitor trend of the Tories to shove their leaders once they come into some sort of influence on the political mainstream is alarming and I feel, as an unqualified nut-case-corrector that this behaviour, often seen in children doing the outrageous to get attention, is a sign that all is not well in the Tory towers.

Are the Tory grassroots afraid to feel power after ten long years?
Are they confused of their politicality and afraid to come out?
Or maybe a more logical explanation could explain this recurring problem.....they're not in fact Tory.

Stranger things have happened.

Just think of the possibilities of infiltrating an enemy political faction!

Plenty of leaking to opposition rags, learning the ropes and practices of the party head quarters, breaking the party from within....the list is endless.

What if this in fact Labour's way of ensuring that the Tories cannot and won't ever get into 10 Downing Street again?

If revealed true, it would certainly improve my stance towards the government.

While it is utterly nuts, what makes this quite croyable is that none of the MPs have dared to reveal their names.

Surely this is proof?

If these "gutless snipers" (Andrew Mitchell) felt so strongly about Cameron's whereabouts, why are they so spineless not to go public with their heart held views?

Cowardice? Perhaps
Success complex? Maybe
Labour's new way to quash opposition? Very probable

The Tories have never had it so good so why are they so bent on destroying their chances to rid for once and for all, the loony lefties and head of this sleazeful excuse for a government, King John?

Buck your ideas up, won't you, dear Tories - there's an election to be won!