Five Labour Gucks....A modern classic

Terrible Tory Girl looks back at the past few months of the Broon dictatorship (er premiership?) with a dime of a rhyme for her devoted readers.

The Terrible Tory updates the school song sensation, Five Little Ducks.

Five Labour Gucks


Five Labour gucks* went pick pocketing one day,
Out to the Tory bench to steal their say,
Dictator guck shrieked back back back,
And four Labour gucks still weren’t sacked.

Four Labour gucks went photo-shopping one day,
Forgetting to turn up to a photo-op day,
Dictator guck shrieked what computer knack knack knack
And three Labour gucks still weren’t sacked

Three Labour gucks went posting benefits one day,
Losing half the country’s details and ending up on ebay,
Dictator guck shrieked, get my faithful hacks** hacks hacks,
And two data disks still didn’t come back.

Two Labour gucks went Northern rocking one day,
Handing over public cash to settle bank’s pay,
Dictator guck shrieked where’s my financial snack snack snack,
And one Labour guck still wasn’t sacked.

One Labour guck went immigrating one day,
Covering up numbers of shady criminals who stay,
Dictator guck shrieked, come here faithful claque*** claque claque
And all five Labour gucks came crawling right back.

*guck = slimy substance

** hacks = journalists

***claque = applauding crowd