God bless the most famous and reverend Benedict.
His visit may have provoked many a hissy fit from the Atheist/Jew/Proddy/Afghan/tax payer /tube rider(select which is applicable) camp and subjected Britain's Got Talent rejects but there is some good in this famous Catholick.
He's provided some laughs vith his very Germann accent but also taught our youngsters a lesson, and given them a constructive path to follow. Forget bags of money and fame, the only thing that is better than Dior handbags and bunches of fifties is becoming a saint.
Z-list fame or a prime spot in heaven? Hmm that's a tricky one.
Is it too late to renounce my Protestant views and do a when-in-Rome ...?
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Wednesday, September 08, 2010
Get a twin room, media!
Sex, sex, sex!
That's all it has been these few weeks. Despite being an avid reader of News of the Screws, and lapping up who's dunnit with who this week, TTG is finding it all rather tiresome.
First it was William Hague and the alleged sexual aid he was getting from his aide - all because he thought it wise to save a bundle of cash or two by sharing a room while out campaigning. But apparently this innocent gesture led to all kinds of peoples' dirty minds whirring at an alarming rate as hundreds scorned the Foreign Sec for wanting to cut costs. TTG sends out her support to all those embroiled in this alleged 'scandal' or bedgate.
Then Tony Blair thought he would etch in our heads the most horrific image in since Human Caterpiller - his love life. between the sheets. with cherie. Now Terrible Tory Girl has had enough of lothario Tone's sexual healing boasts after unfortunately coming across a copy of The Sun in 2005 where the then PM revealed him and Cherie celebrated winning the election by adding four knots on the bedpost that night. TTG is still haunted by this.
No wonder Dublin threw eggs and bottles at Blair. No one needs to or ever wants to hear about you being a hot lover ... wait while TTG brings up the bile over that one.
And of course, not forgetting a balding footy pro who put his foot in it (and his football brain) by hooking up with a hooker. Now none of any of the above involved in these sex scandals are in TTG's public interest, namely because they aren't exactly the people your everyday person will think about in a lusty fashion. Sorry Will, but you're just not TTG's type.
So media, get a twin room... unless of course it's a double page spread of any of the following in their pants:
-Gerard Butler
-Colin Firth
-Johnny Depp
-George Osborne (?)
That's all it has been these few weeks. Despite being an avid reader of News of the Screws, and lapping up who's dunnit with who this week, TTG is finding it all rather tiresome.
First it was William Hague and the alleged sexual aid he was getting from his aide - all because he thought it wise to save a bundle of cash or two by sharing a room while out campaigning. But apparently this innocent gesture led to all kinds of peoples' dirty minds whirring at an alarming rate as hundreds scorned the Foreign Sec for wanting to cut costs. TTG sends out her support to all those embroiled in this alleged 'scandal' or bedgate.
Then Tony Blair thought he would etch in our heads the most horrific image in since Human Caterpiller - his love life. between the sheets. with cherie. Now Terrible Tory Girl has had enough of lothario Tone's sexual healing boasts after unfortunately coming across a copy of The Sun in 2005 where the then PM revealed him and Cherie celebrated winning the election by adding four knots on the bedpost that night. TTG is still haunted by this.
No wonder Dublin threw eggs and bottles at Blair. No one needs to or ever wants to hear about you being a hot lover ... wait while TTG brings up the bile over that one.
And of course, not forgetting a balding footy pro who put his foot in it (and his football brain) by hooking up with a hooker. Now none of any of the above involved in these sex scandals are in TTG's public interest, namely because they aren't exactly the people your everyday person will think about in a lusty fashion. Sorry Will, but you're just not TTG's type.
So media, get a twin room... unless of course it's a double page spread of any of the following in their pants:
-Gerard Butler
-Colin Firth
-Johnny Depp
-George Osborne (?)
Wednesday, September 01, 2010
BBLB - Big Brother Government's Leadership Bollocks
*For a dumbed-down look at the Leadership, scroll down below
Is anyone else frankly bored of the L word? TTG doesn't even want to give any of these five any publicity on her respectful blog but it seems streams of paper, journalist hours and web space are being given freely to yesterday's politicians. The media should get their money's worth by putting up a paywall for these rent-a-gobs so the reporters get paid for listening to their drivel.
What scares the Terrible Tory Girl more than the verbal diarrhea these L-lists are spouting in their various shit storms (see talk about not just reaching out to the middle classes, poor sportsmanship and anything that comes out of the Hackney priestess's gob) is the talking up of the media that these pathetic politicos may once again taste the sweet nectar of Government. If there is a God, let it not be! They have had their time, they are past it. They lost this election. Not even Max Clifford could save them. Media outlets may change their views more often than TTG changes outfits but it doesn't mean that everyone else who actually matters aka the voters are so fickle.
But in true media style, voters are. So here's an analogy that anyone can understand, even this X Factor nation of ours.
Here's a recap of a fallen Government's antics
BB10
Day 1
Most of the Big Brother Government Housemates are in the kitchen cooking up their campaign strategies.... ZzzZzZZZz
Day 12
(Producer: Is anyone still watching this?) ... The housemates are playing up for the cameras.
Day 16
Today's task is Get Back In Power. The housemates are having trouble getting to grips with this. Ed B is sitting in the lounge while the housemates continue the task.
Day 20
The housemates are wondering what has happened to Diane. (Producer: Who cares, keep watching this freak show)
Day 22
Ex Big Brother housemate Peter has entered the house. Ed M is hiding in the garden.
Day 30
The housemates are getting ready to give their nominations. David has received the highest number of nominations so will face the public vote.
Day 36
...The public have switched off.
Is anyone else frankly bored of the L word? TTG doesn't even want to give any of these five any publicity on her respectful blog but it seems streams of paper, journalist hours and web space are being given freely to yesterday's politicians. The media should get their money's worth by putting up a paywall for these rent-a-gobs so the reporters get paid for listening to their drivel.
What scares the Terrible Tory Girl more than the verbal diarrhea these L-lists are spouting in their various shit storms (see talk about not just reaching out to the middle classes, poor sportsmanship and anything that comes out of the Hackney priestess's gob) is the talking up of the media that these pathetic politicos may once again taste the sweet nectar of Government. If there is a God, let it not be! They have had their time, they are past it. They lost this election. Not even Max Clifford could save them. Media outlets may change their views more often than TTG changes outfits but it doesn't mean that everyone else who actually matters aka the voters are so fickle.
But in true media style, voters are. So here's an analogy that anyone can understand, even this X Factor nation of ours.
Here's a recap of a fallen Government's antics
BB10
Day 1
Most of the Big Brother Government Housemates are in the kitchen cooking up their campaign strategies.... ZzzZzZZZz
Day 12
(Producer: Is anyone still watching this?) ... The housemates are playing up for the cameras.
Day 16
Today's task is Get Back In Power. The housemates are having trouble getting to grips with this. Ed B is sitting in the lounge while the housemates continue the task.
Day 20
The housemates are wondering what has happened to Diane. (Producer: Who cares, keep watching this freak show)
Day 22
Ex Big Brother housemate Peter has entered the house. Ed M is hiding in the garden.
Day 30
The housemates are getting ready to give their nominations. David has received the highest number of nominations so will face the public vote.
Day 36
...The public have switched off.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
A Conservative guide to naming your baby
Today in little Truro, Cameron the Younger was born, a bonnie bouncing girl. As our power duo, Sam Cam and DC recover from the wonder of birth, TTG has got the name-calling down to a T.
Here's her guide for David and Sam on what to call their daughter without making any political faux-pas with the backbenchers.
In
Here's her guide for David and Sam on what to call their daughter without making any political faux-pas with the backbenchers.
In
- Beryl - Now this is up your street, Dave. Going Greek won't just boost our position in Europe but you can't go wrong with a name which means blue-green. Befitting of our logo - a keeper.
- Victoria - For Christ's sake, it even has 'Tori' in the title, it's a name that once belonged to a monarch and it's V for Victory. An all-rounder.
- Michaela - Honour your predecessor leader Michael Howard with this female form of his name
- Clementine - It was good enough for Winston, it's good enough for you.
- Margaret - A risky one. But a fantastic way to honour our Lady
- Nicole - Celebrate the Coalition union with this
Out
- Harriet - means estate. Also a name of a hysterical Labour harpy
- Yvette - Other name half of Ed Balls. Don't balls up her future with that juxtaposition
- Scarlet - red alert. Now we don't want anything that colour now!
- Anita - its meaning gives all the wrong connotations. Grace and favour flats come to mind.
- Halle - While the gorgeous Halle Berry has no problems with her name, it means home rule. Not something which has done us Tories terribly well.
- Jessy - A wealthy name. Expect outcries for a ban on her name.
- Barbara - Foreign. Forget the Sun vote if you pick this.
- Truro - (is that even a girls name?) - Don't do a Beckham, it just isn't classy
- Millie - the name of a party on its last legs.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Australia likes theirs well hung too
Now TTG is at the outback of the queue when it comes to getting the situation down under.
From the words TTG has glanced at, it seems like the Aussies like theirs well hung too as a system ordaned with nooses seems ever apparent. Maybe there's a job here for old Nicky. Another coalition to get his teeth into, to yo-yo between should he wish to disembark after a bad week in the top office or after DC banishes him out of the media spotlight for a while.
Welsh-born leader (and therefore Muggle Aussie) Gillard who only a week or so ago suggested that Australia should ditch the monarchy once the Queen pops her regal clogs, managed to edge ahead despite a few months leading the country ... into despair. Tories this side of the continent/world have hailed Abbott (not to be confused with the shrieking Labour unhopeful hailing from Hackney) mainly for not being party of Labor's motley crew.
As Australia mirrors its Commonwealth counterpart, Britain, in cocking up its powers-to-be. Like the UK, the political climate has turned to climate change and the eco-eccentric brigade. It's good to be green, to eat green. Green is the colour etc. But Labor/Labour have always got the environment question wrong. Rudd kicked off with ratifying Kyoto and even pledged to make it financially viable to be good to the environment. But like our little bankrupt Labour party here, it was just talk, guffaw, hot air. The ETS scheme was shelved and now madame Gillard plans instead to slap a carbon tax on Australia's citizens. Sod energy efficiency, they can't afford it.
But it seems Labor just can't give up on their green guff as Gillard desperately attempts to pick off a handful of greens to add to her coalition garden. Here's hoping the greens check their track record and take a chance on the Opposition for more credible alternatives than tax, tax, tax or broken promises.
Annoying nitbit of the day:
Freddos, the smiling frog choc treat TTG so relished in her pocket money days has been hit by the recession and the effects on inflation. Once a reasonable 10p, the Cadbury chocolate sells from shop shelves for 17 pence! Day light robbery. Kraft, a complaint is in the post. Though might not reach you until you rethink the price once again.
From the words TTG has glanced at, it seems like the Aussies like theirs well hung too as a system ordaned with nooses seems ever apparent. Maybe there's a job here for old Nicky. Another coalition to get his teeth into, to yo-yo between should he wish to disembark after a bad week in the top office or after DC banishes him out of the media spotlight for a while.
Welsh-born leader (and therefore Muggle Aussie) Gillard who only a week or so ago suggested that Australia should ditch the monarchy once the Queen pops her regal clogs, managed to edge ahead despite a few months leading the country ... into despair. Tories this side of the continent/world have hailed Abbott (not to be confused with the shrieking Labour unhopeful hailing from Hackney) mainly for not being party of Labor's motley crew.
As Australia mirrors its Commonwealth counterpart, Britain, in cocking up its powers-to-be. Like the UK, the political climate has turned to climate change and the eco-eccentric brigade. It's good to be green, to eat green. Green is the colour etc. But Labor/Labour have always got the environment question wrong. Rudd kicked off with ratifying Kyoto and even pledged to make it financially viable to be good to the environment. But like our little bankrupt Labour party here, it was just talk, guffaw, hot air. The ETS scheme was shelved and now madame Gillard plans instead to slap a carbon tax on Australia's citizens. Sod energy efficiency, they can't afford it.
But it seems Labor just can't give up on their green guff as Gillard desperately attempts to pick off a handful of greens to add to her coalition garden. Here's hoping the greens check their track record and take a chance on the Opposition for more credible alternatives than tax, tax, tax or broken promises.
Annoying nitbit of the day:
Freddos, the smiling frog choc treat TTG so relished in her pocket money days has been hit by the recession and the effects on inflation. Once a reasonable 10p, the Cadbury chocolate sells from shop shelves for 17 pence! Day light robbery. Kraft, a complaint is in the post. Though might not reach you until you rethink the price once again.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Get behind Nick and David
Like juicy Five Alive's singing dodo, this political pun-dit and right wing extraordinaire is"alive, I'm doing my thing, I'm alive".
TTG has returned to the Tory pride after months of reflection in a post-Labour world, a failed bid to clean up local politics and the rise of the nutters - aka a new breed of Labour luvvies programmed with memory loss of the last 13 years.
Rest assured this lady's not for turning her back on her principles, her pride and policies. After 100 (or is 104?) days of friendly and not so friendly fire and a real sense of distrust for our new politics, TTG feels it is time the party for once recognised our political partnership. Former bed hopper Clegg with his nuclear nonsense and totally rad grad tax trollop may not fit in our neat stereotype of good government but by heck, don't we need this Liberal laddy. What we must remember is that if it wasn't for Nick, we would not be taking this country back on track. We would still be the cold, heartless rent-a-gobs toffs who allegedly wrecked this country. Do we want to preserve this unfounded opinion shared by so many voters? We can prove our weight in gold, yet again. Forget left, right, centre, Libertarian, authoritianism.
Get behind Nick and David. You might just come to like it
TTG has returned to the Tory pride after months of reflection in a post-Labour world, a failed bid to clean up local politics and the rise of the nutters - aka a new breed of Labour luvvies programmed with memory loss of the last 13 years.
Rest assured this lady's not for turning her back on her principles, her pride and policies. After 100 (or is 104?) days of friendly and not so friendly fire and a real sense of distrust for our new politics, TTG feels it is time the party for once recognised our political partnership. Former bed hopper Clegg with his nuclear nonsense and totally rad grad tax trollop may not fit in our neat stereotype of good government but by heck, don't we need this Liberal laddy. What we must remember is that if it wasn't for Nick, we would not be taking this country back on track. We would still be the cold, heartless rent-a-gobs toffs who allegedly wrecked this country. Do we want to preserve this unfounded opinion shared by so many voters? We can prove our weight in gold, yet again. Forget left, right, centre, Libertarian, authoritianism.
Get behind Nick and David. You might just come to like it
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Finally we've got the Coalition of the Wanted
Today couLd be the greatest day in my life is something TTG is sure Take That's Gary Barlow will be humming to himself on this historic day.
It all suddenly seems worth it. All the years teased and attacked for holding Conservative values, all those years in opposition and growing up under the watchful eyes of New Labour. Now, David Cameron, a top bloke, finally has the reigns of power propped up by the Liberal Democrats in the first of its kind.
TTG is proud of all we have achieved to make history and finally get the government we deserve - one wanted by the public by either number of votes or seats.
Lib Dem supporters everywhere, don't turn away from this incredible partnership. You have a taste of power, and the real chance to have the policies you have long campaigned for see the light of day. A Lib Lab paddy wack congealed Rainbow coalition would be more like the TV show than a real form of government. Labour weren't willing to compromise and they never would have. Cameron has given you a share of the club - you're not just a rubber stamp. You can now scrutinise from within than without.
It's a Dave new world as The Sun says and let's hope Cameron and Clegg keep the courage, faith and determination needed to make it work.
It all suddenly seems worth it. All the years teased and attacked for holding Conservative values, all those years in opposition and growing up under the watchful eyes of New Labour. Now, David Cameron, a top bloke, finally has the reigns of power propped up by the Liberal Democrats in the first of its kind.
TTG is proud of all we have achieved to make history and finally get the government we deserve - one wanted by the public by either number of votes or seats.
Lib Dem supporters everywhere, don't turn away from this incredible partnership. You have a taste of power, and the real chance to have the policies you have long campaigned for see the light of day. A Lib Lab paddy wack congealed Rainbow coalition would be more like the TV show than a real form of government. Labour weren't willing to compromise and they never would have. Cameron has given you a share of the club - you're not just a rubber stamp. You can now scrutinise from within than without.
It's a Dave new world as The Sun says and let's hope Cameron and Clegg keep the courage, faith and determination needed to make it work.
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