Showing posts with label Harriet Harman. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Harriet Harman. Show all posts

Friday, March 06, 2009

The Digi Revolution is here ... take up your mouses, masses, and seize Twitter



THE DIGITAL Revolution of the Labourskis is nigh. Workers, put down your scythes, pick up your mouses and join us, comrades, to take back the net from the Burzhui bankers and Conservative capitalists who stole it from neath our seats.
We must reclaim and reclaim cyberspace as ours.
We must seize facebook and Twitter and push our agenda to the digital masses. We cannot stand back longer and watch the educated take what rightfully belongs to the people. Our Director of Digital Engagement will lead the revolution but we need you to follow in total blindness and carry our message online. Great rewards will be in your grasp once the central communication controls of the nationals have been snatched. Our mission is costly. You must sow £120k for our director and invest your time and soul into the Revolutionary movement. Information technology will belong to us. Our comrades, Jacqui Smith, Phil Woolas, Gordon Brown and Harriet Harman have invaded the internet already. Follow their lead and take the spirit of the digi revolution into all that you do, brothers and sisters.
















Wednesday, February 18, 2009

These Labour-ing dogs need your support!

PRESS RELEASE FROM THE GONE TO THE DOGS (GTTD) FUND
---------------------------------------------------------------------

LABOURING dogs face eviction from their homes and face the next few months on the streets, begging desperately for your votes, as the polls show that a record number of Brits don't need them.

This Labouring pack has Gone To The Dogs Fund in the hope of finding new voters who will nurture, care and provide them with support and keep their bank balances afloat.

Spare just one vote or sponsor a dog and you can make a real difference to their political lives.


This week, these dogs need your help:





Gordon

Age: 58

Breed: Scottish terrier



Gordon was in a bad state when he came to us. His finances were in a mess and he was broken and bruised after his international dog friends left him cowering, paw high in the shit.

Gordon is very mistrustful and mustn't be allowed near any gold products as he has a habit of squandering, laundering and ripping them to shreds.

He is looking for someone/anyone who is prepared to entrust their faith into him and his fiscal financial policies. He needs a safe home constituency and preferably a kennel up in Scotland.



Harry

Age: 59

Breed: Harrier


Harry, who doesn't like its gender discussed, found his/her home at Gone To The Dogs Fund after fighting with the other dogs and trying to steal Gordon's job. Harry has a violent temper and is working with our staff to pass a law that all dogs cannot refer to their breeds on the grounds of discrimination.

While one of our older dogs, Harry keeps himself/herself busy and tries to force his/her dominance in the Labouring pack by weeing on her competition.



Whitaker

Age: 63

Breed: Jack Russell



Whitaker was caught up in many scraps over his long life and has been a member of the fund for several years now . A Jack of all trades, there is no job too small for Whitaker to foul up - Foreign secretary, Home Secretary, Lord Chancellor and Justice.





Darling

Age: 56

Breed: English Sheepdog




Darling is our longest resident with his career ballsed up since 1997. He is easily manipulated and controlled by his paw peers. Darling needs your help to get him to stand on his own four paws.


Prince

Age: 56

Breed: Doberman Pinscher


Dubbed the Dog of Darkness, devilish Prince, is one of our more difficult members. The money pincher pet, who has been caught taking kennels, can be aggressive and intimidating. (Especially towards Tory dogs like King George Spaniels) But in the right hands, he can be a loyal and helpful asset and is good at digging.


Smith

Age: 47

Breed: Bearded Collie



This shaggy bitch, Smith, is one of our younger additions. Smith is a possessive and stalker dog who spends her time taking other dogs' bones and snooping in their kennels. Smith however commands a lot of attention in the House Kennel with her plentiful assets - a technique that with your help, can be improved and prove vital in distracting Opposition dogs.


Eddie

Age: 42

Breed: St Bernard




Eddie, trained to rescue his pack of Labouring dogs, however needs rescuing himself. Please donate one vote to give him the training he desperately needs to appear in public without putting his paw in it.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Spews on the News

TTG apologises profusely for her unplanned retirement from her beloved blog - twhas been a long haul of a month with entering the circle of work life, deciphering tax forms and nervously chewin g her fingertips in anguish in the wake of her results - she got a 2:1 baby!

Now on to some brief news, now that TTG is semi-functioning. Perhaps.



PM-Who?

One year on and we wonder that. 'Who is our PM? 'the papers decry. Haven' t got a bloody clue. Some Marxist Mugabe-like creature who stalks number ten and won't budge like the fishy smell in Whistable Harbour.

Often you'll hear shrill squeals of no 'Legitimacy of election' in Zimbabwe - that is our PM, the holier than thou, the unelected one. Perhaps we could ban him in the same way he proposes to Mugrab?

Oh, TTG found him. Here he is.

NB: He's the grey hagged figure with the faint Scutish accent being lashed by the tongue of Cameron.




Wendy-oust

Money-undeclaring No-Labour leader in Scutland, Alex is lost for words. Even after losing her voice at Questions in the House just the other day. Tomorrow, the firing squad waits. Sorry, Labour proto-col, love.


Funding nemo

TTG doesn't mind paying up a 66 pence piece packet each year for the Royals - they do far more than the Gov does, even with the ridiculously high level of revenue we dish out to the creeps - and yes, TTG is permitted to bemoan the terrible taxes now that she has to pay them!

Back to point, TTG thinks us countrymen and women should happily support the one last part of our heritage that hasn't yet succumb to the claws of Marxism and the kill English culture movement.

Plus the Queen with all her wealth and service to the country sticks up for the nation's below-breadliners- she buys McDonalds and she refused to have a big celebration for her wedding anniversary this year.

MPs? Well apart from the Tory MP Grant Shapps who spent xmas night on the street, TTG can't really say much for their corner.



Totalpolitics

A spanking new politico mag! Published by the wonderful Iain Dale, the mag contains all you need to know of the ins, outs, nooks and crannies of the legislative world in the UK. Check out the first issue filled with an interview with Alan B*stard,Gordy Brown and his apparent "character" and love of James Bond. Ha. Ha. And much much more that TTG cannot be bothered to write - just buy the mag won't ya? In all good shops near you.




Hatty's equality ideas are just plain mad!

Time to say goodbye to Harriet Heman? Hurr-iet has been busy according to Labour officials, hurting the polls and has been reproached for the Henley disaster.

The Woman advocate, who's the mastermind of a bill to trump inequality in the workplace by injecting even more inequality in its place, may be a first class muppet but she's not to blame for Henley. Why doesn't the narcissistic Party look a little closer home....you cannot expect guys to rake in support while bleeding the workers you're meant to represent dry.

Remember 10p tax?
Remember the price of petrol?
Remember the price of food?
Remember the green agenda that's costing us 37 % more?

Well they do. And that's why they voted blue.



Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Spews on the News April 2- 4

Guess who's back, back again, TTG's back, tell a friend


Welcome to this week's edition of the incredibly popular* Spews on the news.

With the past few days spent catching up on Allo Allo, dreaming and heading brave and brazen to this year's first Rocky Horror Picture Show singalong feature at Prince Charles, TTG has been all but preoccupied to sit and rant.

Back to her typical Tory tricks, TTG is again a fully fledged supporter of all things Conservative after a truly terrible 12 hour stint as a Labour luvvy for April's Fools. TTG wonders how the real rose clad clan cope for 365 days a year - perhaps hypnotism or subliminal messages in their broadcasts?

TTG would also like to take the time to apologise sincerely for falsely attributing Gordon Brown as a dreamboat in her last post. We, all of course, know such endearments referred to that particular Scowling Scot from the Westminster Loch network, are definitely defamatory - let's just stick to the basic insults as they at least have some truth to them.

Comme d'habitude on this terrible blog, here is the news, mostly read with provocation against the Non-Labour party. Amusez-vous, vous wont'cha?

Don't Mention The Queen

Vincie Cable, TTG's once preferred choice for the Liberal leadership, has been slammed by the Jurassics in the Labour Party for daring to mention the Queen's name. Michael Martin, the state's cash seeker, refused to allow Cable to ask the question that is currently doing the rounds in public life -

"It was reported this week that Her Majesty the Queen had cancelled her diamond wedding celebrations because it was judged to be inappropriate to engage in extravagance at a time of economic gloom and recession.
Do you share my view that this demonstrates Her Majesty's unerring instincts for the public mood, or does the Government think she was overreacting?"

Perhaps the wording was a little off, as of course one must never bring one into parliamentary debates but Cable raises a very valid point - if the Queen is rationing her lux life because she feels Britain's at an economic bust, then surely there is indeed a real economic crisis on the cards, n'est-ce pas?

But of course Labour, its languish luvvies and its 'ites have for years proclaimed the Messianic message of the enviable English economy while hushing-up the patrie's poverty by bringing in immigrant forces to vote in their favour. And adding to that, a national force feed of the policy of political correctness, the principle of censure through fear of insult.

Today, they exerted the hand of hush by refusing to answer the question on the basis of mentioning the word, Queen. In this logic, would Mr Speaker refuse these questions?

1) "What does the Government plan to do to ameliorate the impoverish and discriminate conditions of transvestites such as queen Bob Monkton in my constituency?

2) The Government cites that their economy record has grown steadily and not yet dipped after ten years of Labour in the driving seat. And am I the Queen of Sheba?

Sillyness aside, surely the fact that the Queen has publicly moved herself and her influence into the political sphere, then isn't it a sign that the Sovereign has modelled into a political rather than public figure? Thus, it should be legit to discuss her political actions if she chooses to stand in the political limelight.

Vincie, TTG sees your point.

The Pest Of Friends: Boris Wins BNP Vote

A bombshell this week for blonde bomb MP, Boris Johnson & Johnson. As he launched his Mayor Campaign officially, much to his dismay, the Bigot Nationalist Party have pledged their far-right hand in support of him, urging their own (hopefully very few) voters to cross their names next to him for their second vote.

Andrew Grice on his bloggy on the Independent website quoted the BNP crew-cut clan saying "In this race, the Tory clown Johnson is a lesser evil than the Marxist crank Livingstone," the BNP says, "so replacing the latter with the former would, on balance, be an improvement for the majority of Londoners."

D'oh just what every Tory does not need. Grice, however, in his write-up of the story, made an inlaudable claim that the Green Party "is much more respectable".
While TTG despises the bigots on the right, praising the Green Party is a stroke too far - considering that half of their vote demographic includes new-age-carrot-crunching-rhubarb-munching-green-peace-organic-eco-freak-hippies.
The Green Giants (certainly not in vote counts) are made worse still by their support of the anti-Semite- hypocrite-Livingmoan.

Serial Booker To Ferial Hooker

This was the Oxford smartie who went to university at 13, and gave up the books and brains for looks and monetary gains. It seems that intelligence just doesn't pay and it doesn't take a prodigy to work out that £130 an hour, laying on back, is far better than hitting dust-cladden books for a significantly inferior sum. For Sufiah Yusof, money can buy her love ;)


The Peckham Order: Harriet-No-Harm-Man In Vest Row

TTG, like most, would not like to hear about the goings on on Peckham's own Iscariot Harriet's chest. But the fact that a city's MP chooses to gear up in stab proof attire to visit her own constituency is a complete and utter joke.
Apparently she donned the tight fitting anti-stab top because the police told her to. She later compared the vest to wearing a builder's hat on a building sight or an Indian wearing a turban when er visiting some Indian event, apparently. Logical, she ain't.

One response from a Peckham resident made the point more strongly, suggesting that if she doesn't feel safe, why not represent a place like Chelsea?

Here's the quick reference guide to what happened when Harry Met Haguey, taken from the good people at London Lite

1)"Hague joked that if Harman dresses appropriately when she goes a a building site or a factory, "presumably when she goes to a cabinet meeting she goes dressed as a clown." 2) Harman said that if she needed advice on what to wear, "the very last person I'll look to for advice is the man in a baseball cap".

3)Hague added "If she thinks her constituents will kill her, she should look behind her."


Goodbye for now, TTG is off to count kittens and dream about Tim Curry in drag. Mmm


*Readership tallied on TTG's one hand