The Exes Factor: The final

The Exes Factor ... Who should the public axe?



IT'S that time again when the final acts of the Exes Factor are picked to face the public vote.

From hundreds of applicants, MPs have been shortlisted for making their mark in the expenses world. Those who tried and failed were sent from the bootcamp stage and sent home packing out of the House.

But who has the Exes Factor? Who can rise above in this contest and redeem themselves to the voters?

Here's a look at this year's Exes stars:

Jacqui "Two pornos" Smith

Jacqui Smith has been in the game for a while now. She has seen the highs and lows, mostly lows, of government and is determined for another chance to set the record straight.

Public verdict: The public weren't impressed by her 88p plug, her two porn films or mortgage claims. Jacqui, who already has had to take a backseat, is at real risk of being axed after her apology failed to spark up support. She is favourite for the axe.


Gordon "is a moron" Brown


Gordon Brown is a familar face but is a surprise addition to this contest. The born-leader (ahem) faces going to the cleaners for his bill for, er, cleaners in his Scotland home. While things can only get worse for him, little else can tarnish his rep further so he's likely to come out of the contest better than some of the other stars.

Public verdict: Gordon Brown is all washed up and his cleaning bill extravagance of £12k may be the final straw for a despairing nation.


Nick "35 bed knots" Clegg


Clegg hasn't been at the front of the pack in this contest as few voters know who he is. The former lothario however could be a surprise winner this year as he's pledged to fit his £900 flower bill.

Public verdict: The yellow belly has got to do more to raise his game and profile if he hopes to get on with favourable coverage in the media and public.


David "Britain's next top model PM" Cameron


David's campaign to clean up politics is steadfast and seems to be getting quite a response. Cameron, who has called on fellow Conservatives to clean up their act, has been dealt a blow after his own claims have been called into question.

Public verdict: The favourite to win, Cameron could have the Exes Factor if he puts his house in order as well as the House.


Who should get the axe for their Exes?

Vote below



P.S. Sorry TTG hasn't posted in a while - she has been far and away to Manchester . Read her adventures here

We wouldn't tip a bad waiter, so why do we reward MPs for not doing their jobs?

There was a time when expenses covered your train fare and a cheap supermarket sandwich. And it's still the case for budding MPs and politicos who take up internships with our resident fat cats. While our MPs squander and POOL in as much as their OIL-y claws can grasp yet as according to rules, their younger, prettier counterparts who work for no salary can barely get precious pennies for their measly meals.

The expense system is a CROCK. A joke, a whole on our country's fine finances and one at the public's expense. We are told that MPs need second homes for their constituency and one in London for the very few visits they make per annum.

And us mugs, a fair, decent bunch, don't bat an eyelid as the claims spiral out of control, to fix a leaky pipe, for a sneaky Mars Bars, a few pieces of furniture here and there for each of their five stately homes, to tune a piano, to rid of a moat, to fix their garden, a supermarket sweep for a classy chandelier to show off to constituents, a glittery toilet, and even the taxes they impose on les miserables reels-the public.

TTG wonders, are the LIGHTS on and no one at home? How can our Parliamentarians really see lightbulbs or manure as a fair use of expenses? Can they not pay for these themselves? Are they so irresponsible with their £60k + dough salary that they can't even find 45p for a chocolate bar or 88p for a bath plug?

For while we strive to live, paying out of our own pocket for our bills, for our travel expenses, for our food, for our homes, we at the same time are paying for these irresponsible Kevin-like teenagers to sponge off us.

No better than a benefit fraudster, our MPs who claim to cut down on social scroungers, are merely just adding their own names to the list of those with whom need to be dealt. MPs have a duty to STAMP out waste and corruption. They should be the solution and not the problem. How on earth can we get resuscitate Britain if we can't first lodge out the deprivation and disease that's choking her?

Our country may be going down the TOILET with Gordon Brown and his BASKET case tweedle-dee/tweedle-dum chums at the helm, but there is no excuse for our representants to go for a free-for-all. We are not on our last legs yet!

Like a tip in a restaurant , why should we pay a service charge for a rude waitress/waiter who isn't doing their job properly, who is pissing in the food or turning up late either without the goods, or the food disappointedly cold?

We wouldn't tip a waiter like that so why do we reward MPs for ripping us off or for doing a pretty lousy job?


Enough is enough. We must cut the fat and waste of the parliament. We must hold them to account and let them know that we will not take this any longer. Each and every MP who has taken the piss with their claims MUST pay it back, apologise, step down if necessary.


The Conservatives can recover from this provided they take the steps to eradicate this gross misuse of our funds.

Remember, dear MPs, you're in the DOGHOUSE and don't make a single move out of place or we may just bear our teeth.


The Lord may giveth, but the public will taketh away!