Political game for a laugh

Determined not to mention the F word* and start off a tirade of frustrated rant, TTG has turned to the internet to forget her world woes.

Glasgow based T-Entreprise, flash gamers who mock the week's news, have made this beauty of a game 'run Clarkson run' after the Top presenter put his controversial gear up a notch when he said lorrydrivers routinely murder prostitutes:



Check out TTG's faves below:

Puck Palin - Hockey mum Sarah shoots and scores as she smashes Obama's campaigns in this ho0ckey themed game.




Gordon Brown and the Raiders of the Lost Passports

Drive around Westminster, collect passports and try not to kill tax payers (or do if you like)




*Fife - Labour gets in again in Glenrothes - sigh.

Exclusive: McCain 's sex plea to his VP

Johnny measures up his VP Palin

John "Johnny" McCain gets down to business with his hot VP hopeful after hope was lost for the Presidential duo. "A heartbeat away from the Presidency" Palin was only too happy to oblige.

Repub loser sings his Last Supper to hit tune 'Heartbeat':

Were we doomed from the start?

Can we shag before we depart

I made it easier, got you this far.

Give me a reason or gimme a dance

Are you alone my Alaskan tart, sit on my throne

...Your prayers aren't smart

Doing all I can do,

just to be close to you.

Every time that we meet, (more than twice) I skip a heartbeat

Always up for a gaffe, she's a pain in the ass

Every time that we meet, I skip a heartbeat.

Give me an evening, or give me a night.

I'll show you mine, and hide the wife.

I won't mock your home faith, that God lark

I'll give you a packet, I'll give you my heart.

But you won't be financing tonight, you'll have the time of your life.

Doing all I can do, just to be close to you.

Every time that we meet, I skip a heartbeat.

Always up for a gaffe, she's a pain in the ass.

Every time that we meet, I skip a heartbeat.

I do love, she does a moose steak

I did love, till she shot my hart

I do love, she was a mistake

I did love, till she broke my heart.

I do love, though she's a headache.

I did love, till she broke our chart

I do love, she took out our stake

I did love, till she upset the cart

Doing all I can do, just to be close to you. (making you VP)

Every time that we meet, I skip a heartbeat.

Always up for a gaffe, she's a pain in the ass.

Every time that we meet, I skip a heartbeat.

I skip a heartbeat for you.

Doing all I can do, just to be close to you.

Every time that we meet, I skip a heartbeat.

Always up for a laugh, she's a pain in the ass.

Every time that we meet, I skip a heartbeat.

I skip a heartbeat for you.

Were we doomed from the start?

Can we shag before we depart

Obama's a geezer, he's such a star

Give me a reason or gimme a dance

Are you alone my Alaskan tart, sit on my throne

.

..Your prayers aren't smart

Doing all I can do, (Like offer you the VP job) just to get to do you.

Live in the sty: Political pig poems

US voters were shocked today after Obama revealed Republican candidate Palin to be nothing more than a "pig in lipstick".

Mrs Palin, who was unmasked as a political pig in disguise as a VP hopeful, has yet to hit back at Mr Baracks' claims....

And now to poetry. In the spirit of pointless jibes and personal attacks as the big race gets closer, TTG thought she'd give it a go herself.

Here exclusive to this blog, TTG has penned the lipstick saga in revamped and glossier versions of our old pig nursery rhymes.

Enjoy! *

1)

McCain pig went to Virginia,
Miss Palin pig went home,
Miss Palin pig wears lipstick,
Obama pig wears none,
And Miss Palin pig cried, he's picking on me
All the way home.

2)

Higglety, pigglety, top!
Obama's a political flop;
The pig's in a hurry,
her lipstick a flurry,
Higglety, pigglety, hop!

3)

To DC, to DC, to vote a fat pig,
smears again, smears again, diggety-dig;
To senate, to senate, to pick a fat cock,
Republican, Republican, shockety-shock.

4)

Obam, Obam, the Dem's ole' one,
called her a pig and away did run;
The pig did cheat, and Obama was beat,
Till he run crying down the street.



Click here to read all about the lipstick debate

Click here to see Obama's response on Sky

*TTG doesn't take any responsibility for anything printed on this blog that you, the reader, failed to find amusing in the slightest. Nor does she take any blame for any bias on this site as every step to appear neutral has been taken. Vote Obama!

The turtle red neck and the rampant rabbit: Race to the the Big White House

Racers: Sarah rabbit and turtle red neck

The tale of the turtle and the rampant rabbit: Race to the Big White House

Once apon a time there was a rampant rabbit named Sarah rabbit. She was very beautiful and won many beauty contests. Pretty Palin soon got jobs and the attention of her husband and others....

She, like many other rabbits in the forest of America, liked to get knocked up and have babies. Her daughter too shared this hobby.

Sarah, like many other rabbits also liked to run. Especially for office.

One day she saw the slow, old Sergeant turtle red neck, heading towards the big White House. Now Sarah wanted to live in this big house but the only person who could live in the big white House had to win the race.

But Sarah, while she could run fast, could not beat the turtle because she had not bothered to train before.

The next day, the second time she saw the turtle, she asked to join his training team so once the fat old turtle was too old, she could live in the big White House herself.

Now turtle red neck McCain knew of the rampant rabbit's plans to take over but he needed to win the race.

So the day after, the third time the two met, he asked Sarah rabbit to join his team. Turtle red neck was happy because he knew that many people would help him in his training with the rampant rabbit on his arm.

Turtle neck rubbed his feet with glee - "Now I can beat Barack bunny in the big race."

To be continued....

Will Turtle red neck with sexy rampant rabbit beat off Barack bunny for the White House?

Will Sarah shoot Barack bunny's chances? Or just shoot Barack? Or shoot herself in her foot?

Has turtle red neck made a big mistake?

Tell the terrible author below ....