EXCLUSIVE: Tony Blair wins Presidency

Winner of US Election 2008: Tony Blair

Well the votes haven't yet been all been penned but TTG has a sneaky suspicion, not influenced by the polls whatsoever, that changeling Obama is next to step into the Presidents' hot seat.

While TTG was convinced the Old Arrogant POW (OAP) would have his dying moments in the Oval as Mrs Palin gets off her knees to announce herself as the US Pres, TTG was utterly butterly wrong.

In the midst of capitalist collapse and rich bankers having to trade in their exec cars for a model three years older, it seems the world would rather have the last laugh and giggle at the expense of rich sods losing their cash to the wind.

Apparently Socialism is their preferred solution... despite that when Capitalism last crashed on its costly anus, the rise of the Reds left us with not a lot to play with. One Cold War and plenty of sateillite countries brainwashed by Romanov Ruskis.

Still, if the Yanks prefer to believe that they will sit in a hippy drum circle, holding hands with Proles and billion dollar men, each with the same pay packet and free health care at the touch of a button, then go ahead. Vote Obama.

He's an affable geezer, yes, but how long will it be 'til this Disney dream prince novelty wears off?
For behind the words and the sexy striped suits, lies inexperience, and a very American Tony Blair.

He is a wide-eyed twenty something intern, convinced the world's woes can be remedied with a flash of his seductive smile. That poverty can somehow be reversed with a speech. Just like his pal Tone, the man whose risks and oratory took Britain to its knees before he buggered off to cash in on the UK's misera.

Good luck America, this vial of truth will be hard to swallow, but you're the next world power to fall for one man.




An anthem for doomed booths

Little donkey, little donkey on the campaign road

Got to keep on plodding onwards with your precious load

Been a long time, little donkey, through the election night

Dont give up now, little donkey,

Washington's in sight

Swing out those votes tonight

Washington, Washington

Follow that Red Star tonight

Washington, Washington

Little donkey, little donkey, had a levy day

Little donkey, carry Marx safely on his way

Little donkey, little donkey, journey's end is near

There are yes-men waiting for a sign to bring them here

Do not falter little donkey, there's a Red star ahead

It will guide you, little donkey, to DC ahead.

Rig out those votes tonight

Washington, Washington

Follow that Red star tonight

(to) Washington, Washington

Little donkey, little donkey, had a levy day

Little donkey, carry Marx, safely on his way

Little donkey, carry Marx, safely on his way

The Anglocalypse: The Four Horsemen: The USA, the Labour Party, Oil & the EU

Thus as the Lord prophesised in the Book of Revelations, the coming of the Anglocalypse and its four deadly horsemen, the White House, Labour Party, Petroleum, and the European Union.




Revelations 6: 1-2*


'I watched as the Lamb opened the first of the seven seals. Then I heard one of the four living creatures say in a voice like thunder, "Come!" I looked, and there before me was a white horse! Its rider held a bow, and he was given a crown, and he rode out as a conqueror bent on conquest.'



Revelations 6: 3-4


'When the Lamb opened the second seal, I heard the second living creature say, "Come!" Then another horse came out, a fiery red one. Its rider was given power to take peace from the earth and to make men slay each other. To him was given a large sword.'



Revelations 6: 5-6




'When the Lamb opened the third seal, I heard the third living creature say, "Come!" I looked, and there before me was a black horse! Its rider was holding a pair of scales in his hand. Then I heard what sounded like a voice among the four living creatures, saying, "A quart of wheat for a day's wages, and three quarts of barley for a day's wages, and do not damage the oil and the wine!"'





Revelations 6: 7-8


'When the Lamb opened the fourth seal, I heard the voice of the fourth living creature say, "Come!" I looked, and there before me was a pale horse! Its rider was named Death, and Hades was following close behind him. They were given power over a fourth of the earth to kill by sword, famine and plague, and by the wild beasts of the earth.'


*As written, word for word in the Bible - See, voting Tory, isn't that bad of an idea, is it?

Live in the sty: Political pig poems

US voters were shocked today after Obama revealed Republican candidate Palin to be nothing more than a "pig in lipstick".

Mrs Palin, who was unmasked as a political pig in disguise as a VP hopeful, has yet to hit back at Mr Baracks' claims....

And now to poetry. In the spirit of pointless jibes and personal attacks as the big race gets closer, TTG thought she'd give it a go herself.

Here exclusive to this blog, TTG has penned the lipstick saga in revamped and glossier versions of our old pig nursery rhymes.

Enjoy! *

1)

McCain pig went to Virginia,
Miss Palin pig went home,
Miss Palin pig wears lipstick,
Obama pig wears none,
And Miss Palin pig cried, he's picking on me
All the way home.

2)

Higglety, pigglety, top!
Obama's a political flop;
The pig's in a hurry,
her lipstick a flurry,
Higglety, pigglety, hop!

3)

To DC, to DC, to vote a fat pig,
smears again, smears again, diggety-dig;
To senate, to senate, to pick a fat cock,
Republican, Republican, shockety-shock.

4)

Obam, Obam, the Dem's ole' one,
called her a pig and away did run;
The pig did cheat, and Obama was beat,
Till he run crying down the street.



Click here to read all about the lipstick debate

Click here to see Obama's response on Sky

*TTG doesn't take any responsibility for anything printed on this blog that you, the reader, failed to find amusing in the slightest. Nor does she take any blame for any bias on this site as every step to appear neutral has been taken. Vote Obama!